The White House

Titus Augustine

2012-01-19T15:35:00.000-06:00

warning: birth story and all things that go with it, but its not too gory, in my opinion. :)

Christmas morning we went to mass with my sister and mom. Two nights before I had mild cx 3-5 min apart, but then they quit when I went to sleep. My due date was the 29th and I was definitely expecting to be a few days "late" since Faith was 9 days late. We came home and went for a walk and Mike put pressure on one of the labor induction pressure points on my ankle for like 5 seconds, so I'm sure thats why I went into labor. haha. I started feeling light crampy contractions around 5 when I was helping my mom make dinner. I timed them around 4 minutes apart for a few hours. They started feeling more uncomfortable and I decided to have our doula come over since I knew it would take her a while. She came over close to 10 with our photographer (I feel so fancy! We didn't have any pictures from when Faith was born and it made me sad, so we hired a photographer, who also happened to be a doula/student midwife). The base recently changed its rules for getting on base. It used to be anyone could get on with a drivers license, but now they have to do a background check and get a pass and someone has to go down to the gate to sponsor them in. its crazy ridiculous! So, Mike went down to the gate to get them on.

I was having some... uh, intestinal upsets during this whole thing. not pleasant at all. Then I started feeling nauseous after a contraction. The contractions varied in intensity, it would be a really strong one, then a mild one, then a really strong one again. Michael had brought home a TENS unit from work, which was AMAZING on my low back. I kept it on from like 11ish until Titus was born at 4am, minus the little while I was in the tub. I'm actually not sure its even recommended to leave it on that long. lol. I actually got out of the tub at the hospital because I wanted the tens unit back on and it felt better than the tub did. lol anyway, back to being at home. I layed on the yoga ball for a long time, which helped, but then my lower back was getting sore, so I just sat for a while. Then I drank some kefir, then I threw up twice. I layed/slept/nursed Faith on the couch for about an hour. Then I felt like I should change positions to speed things up. So I sat/layed on the ball some more. I started feeling a lot more pressure and felt like the baby was really low.

Faith fell asleep around 1 and we decided to go to the hospital. I had been debating about what to do with Faith, especially if it was the middle of the night because she really freaks if I'm not here when she wakes up, even if Mike is here. So the plan was she would come too, but I decided since she had just fallen asleep that she would stay here and my mom could bring her if she flipped out. The drive was NOT fun. It wasn't bad except for turns + contraction. yowza. I got into triage close to 2am and was 8cm with bulging bag of waters. Then they put us in our room and I got in the tub. The back pain was much much worse, so I only stayed in the tub for 30 minutes then got the tens unit back on. My ob showed up around then. I layed down in bed for a while (which I actually have no memory of). This labor was so weird to me, looking back. I remember in our bradley class that we took before Faith was born, they talked about laying on your side during labor and I thought that was crazy... who just wants to lay there during labor? But I totally did this time. I could have been hooked up to the EFM the whole time and would have been fine, I just wanted to lay down. lol. I started feeling a lot of pressure and sort of pushy. I did hands and knees and kneeling, it did not feel good. pushing didn't help with the pressure. I made quite a bit of progress though. I could feel his head with my fingertips, it was really cool! I also started feeling a burning when his head was still an inch or so in... really weird because I didn't feel anything until Faith's head was crowning.

They noticed the baby (I'm not sure if I should refer to him as "the baby" since we didn't know or as a him/Titus since he is born and we now know what sex he is. lol) was having heart rate decelerations after the contraction was over... so I used some oxygen for a few contractions which I don't remember it helping. My OB asked if he could break my water to speed things up bec of the decels. sure. That was painful mid-contraction. Then I changed positions to sitting up/squatting, which helped with his heartrate(but apparently decels like that are usually normal as long as they recover b/t). But he really moved back up when I changed positions which was really discouraging, but I only pushed for 45min total before he was born. Thats a lot better than the 3 hours with Faith! I felt really out of control when I was pushing and the intensity was insane. It really felt much more painful than with Faith. I'm not sure if its because he had a nuchal hand (hand up by his face) or because I didn't do any preparing myself mentally like I had last time. Anyway, Michael got to catch him which was really really really awesome, I'm glad we decided to do that this time. I put him right onto my chest and we nursed and someone asked what the sex was because I had forgotten to check - a BOY! I couldn't believe it. The whole pregnancy I felt like it was a boy but basically thought no way and anticipated it being a girl. Michael's face was so ecstatic when I announced it. It was sooo awesome waiting until birth day to find out the sex, totally worth it (though I had no desire to find out during the pregnancy, so it wasnt really "difficult"). I think I will be doing it that way with future pregnancies, it just made the labor that much more exciting. I kept saying/thinking "I get to find out if its a boy or girl!!" They were concerned about his breathing and thought he might need oxygen, but he was fine. They left his cord for 5-7 min according to our doula, and only cut it because they thought they needed to take him to the warmer for oxygen, but that never happened so... yeah. Which, looking back, if he was having possible breathing trouble you should probably leave him attached to his backup oxygen source, but this is the hospital ;)

Things I wasn't happy about: I said no pulling/maneuvering the head before the shoulders are out and there was definite maneuvering. My doc stuck cord clamps on the very edge of the cord (not actually clamping off the vessels) and just let them hang there after he was born. it felt like he was pulling on the cord, WTH STOP and he took the clamps off then. I'm thinking it was either to get a "gentle" traction on the cord even though I said no traction or (according to the web) that is how they can tell when the placenta separates bec the cord will lengthen and if you stick the clamps on there you can see it lengthening. There was suggestion of manually removing clots from my uterus for no good reason... what?! why would you suggest such a thing!! of course I'm not agreeing to that are you CRAZY!? So I agreed to the damn uterine massage.

I had a 2nd degree tear again (prob from the nuchal hand). I think I did something to my tailbone, because it was really painful to sit for any length of time for the first week. Overall I'm really pleased with our hospital experience... other than the above it was perfect. No one even asked to weigh him for an hour, no one asked to bathe him, I don't think he even wore clothes for the first few hours. We told them we wanted to leave as soon as possible and they basically pushed us out the door. They started getting us all our discharge stuff when he was just a few hours old. Faith came with my mom and sister around 10am and was sooo happy to see me. Apparently she had woken up right around the time he was born, and cried but fell back to sleep on our bed, which she has only done twice in her entire life (fallen asleep by herself that is). We ended up leaving (not without a stern speech from a nazi pediatrician about refusing the vitamin K injection) when he was 9 hours old, making our total stay barely 12 hours. We had to leave "against medical advice" because they won't discharge the newborn before 24 hours, but no one acted like it was a big deal.

He was 7lbs 6 oz and 20.5 inches long, born at 4:12am. 14" head, 13" chest (or maybe it was 13 and 12... can't remember. definitely an inch smaller, Faith's chest was 1/2" bigger than her head). He had some jaundice. He basically sleeps all the time, even still at 3 weeks. We started doing EC at 1 week old, just during diaper changes/if its been a while and he's still dry. The kid pees like crazy though, I seriously change him at least 15x a day. Oh and his name: Titus... from the New Testament. apparently there was also an awful roman emperor named Titus who killed a lot of Jews... I learned this when someone at the hospital on our way out asked us what his name was and just said "oh no" and walked away. such a good feeling! lol We have liked the name for such a long time I didn't even think to do a google search. And Augustine, like the totally awesome Saint (pronounced with a short i sound). So far his only nickname is Mr. Titus. Michael kept calling him a her/she for at least the first week. He also called Faith, Claire (his youngest sisters name) for a long time after she was born. lol he is funny. My super awesome friends (mostly from our local babywearing group) brought us meals for 2 weeks, then Michael's mom came last week and cooked all our meals so I have only cooked us one meal so far! It has been such a huge blessing!

Updated with pictures by our birth photographer. Also, as you can see in these photos I'm totally not the ecstatic woman who just had a baby. lol I'm smiling in like none of them, because well I just gave birth and was just tired and glad it was over

38 week update

2011-12-16T00:42:00.005-06:00

Well, I haven't blogged in a while. So here is an update in bullet form.

I'm 38 weeks. Feels like baby has dropped, ouch my pubic bone and lots of nerve irritation. I keep feeling like this baby will be early, but I'm trying not to get my hopes up. Faith was 9 days late though and I know babies come when they are ready :)
Faith is 2 and a half. And so much fun. I really really like this stage. Its so easy when they really understand you. She is still nursing and nursing at night and sleeping in our bed. And I wear her on my back to get her to go to sleep. Its a sight to see, let me tell you. But seriously, the "toddler-wearing" is the best thing ever. She is around 26lbs so definitely not a heavy 2.5 yr old. She falls asleep in minutes!
Lately she is totally uninterested in me reading books to her most days and wants to "read" them herself. it frustrates me. She knows colors and animals, but not interested in shapes or counting past 3. hehe.
She understands there is a baby in my belly and will say "baby moving!" if she sees/feels it moving. But I'm not sure how much she understands that the baby will be staying with us forever. lol
She says her name "beef".

Birth Plan

2011-11-03T01:37:00.000-05:00

Thought I'd put this here for opinions and safe keeping... As you can see I'm really not concerned about treatment during 1st stage... (in fact I may leave all of that out because its just stuff I can say no to in the moment) mainly just 2nd and 3rd since that was when I had issues with Faith's birth (shoulder dystocia and hemorrhage). I think I'll hand this to my doc tomorrow and say "So, how early can we schedule the induction?" pahahahah. With Faith's birth plan, I made it kind of humorous and titled it "Beth and Mike's Birth Decree", ya know, to change it up for the nurses who read these things all day long. I think this time I'll call it my "List of Demands" ;-)

1st Stage

I do not consent to oxygen, IV medication, or a saline lock ‘just in case’

Please do not offer pain relief. If I wish to have some myself or my husband will ask for it.

I do not consent to continuous monitoring unless intermittent monitoring shows something that needs closer attention.

I do not wish for my water to be artificially broken unless I request it

2nd Stage

no pulling/maneuvering baby's head before shoulders are born

in case of shoulder dystocia - help me change to hands/knees position, absolutely no pulling

Would like to have Michael help catch the baby and announce the sex

I wish to push on instinct and with freedom of position. Please do not count.

3rd Stage

I do not consent to suctioning the baby

I do not consent to a pitocin shot after birth unless I am hemorrhaging.

I do not consent to traction, gentle or otherwise, on the cord. I will deliver the placenta once it has detached on it’s own

I do not consent for the cord to be cut until it has stopped pulsating and preferably until placenta is delivered unless lifesaving measures are needed.

We would like to take the placenta home.

4th Stage

I do not consent to uterine massage unless uterus is not contracting on its own

Newborn exams will be delayed for at least one hour after birth
I do not consent to the vitamin K shot, Hepatitis B, or erythromyacin, and baby will not have blood drawn without prior consent

We will not be circumcising if the baby is a boy.

We would like to return home as soon as possible and would appreciate help in doing so

Update

2011-09-09T15:30:00.003-05:00

Just a boring update, because I feel guilty when I don't update for months at a time. :)

We were going to be moving to NJ in March, but looks like that isn't happening now. I was pretty disappointed at first, but it would have been really hard to move across the country with a 2 month old and 2 year old. Plus I have lots of super awesome friends here that I would miss a lot, even though now I won't be able to get raw milk 45 min away for $5/gallon. boo!

"New baby" is 24 weeks now :) cooking right along! We aren't finding out the gender... and not doing any u/s at all unless medically indicated. I have a super awesome doctor that has been supportive of me declining every test he has offered so, thats been nice. I'm serious, he is crunchier than the midwife I had when Faith was born. Who would have thought!?

Starting to really feel pregnant now... feeling lots of movements and I've been having braxton hicks since 9 or 10 weeks! jeez! Its also getting harder to move and roll over in bed. We haven't decided officially on names, but pretty sure it will be MaryGrace if its a girl, I've really liked that name for a long time, even before we were Catholic (I know, I know, could we pick a more Catholic name? lol) and now its perfect, and we found out that Mary and Grace are both family names on Michael's side! Not sure on a boy's name though... we still have a couple favorites. No middle names yet either.

Faith is almost 28 months. I really really like this stage she's at. Way better than 1 was! She can understand and say so much, and she can help! She really responds well when she is upset if I give her a time frame like "We can't watch veggie tales right now, we can watch it after you take a nap" and she says "alright". Or "We can't go to the park now, we can go to the park tomorrow"... "ok". She loves to point out sheshus (Jesus) and Mary (sometimes loudly) when we go to Church, she loves to listen to and play "meek" (music), and says things like she's a little italian "help a me"... "don't touch a me". She really loves playing with other kids "tids". And loves giving hugs and holding my hand when we walk - its the sweetest thing!

We're working on potty "learning", right now its potty bribery - don't judge me. Several months ago she started refusing the potty all together (except poop - she always tells me she needs to poop! Thank goodness!!), even if she needed to pee so after a few months of her being completely in diapers (we did EC from the beginning so she has been going on the potty her whole life) and my potty offers always being met with "NO!"- I'm giving chocolate chips. If it doesn't work, fine, but if it does - yay for not having 2 babies in diapers!

She is still nursing quite a bit, which is a little discouraging bec I have colostrum now and I was hoping she would wean on her own when I had no milk... but doesn't look like that will be happening. We went on a trip for a friends wedding and she was barely nursing other than nap/bedtime, but now that we're back home she wants to a lot more often (probably from boredom). I'm torn on the whole tandem nursing thing and don't know how I feel/will feel about it. I'm just keeping an open mind right now and seeing how things go. I just know we need to really work on night weaning because I am not down for nursing 2 all night long! I've already weaned her off her habit of twiddling the other side.... numerous times! "I touch o'dide!" (I touch other side - lol) I just forget she isn't supposed to be doing it sometimes. I'd also like to get her falling asleep by herself for naps/bedtimes, but I'm not too optimistic. And honestly, if its between a long bedtime/nap routine or nursing for a few minutes, I'll take nursing... even if I do have another baby to nurse too, because I'm lazy ;-)

hmmm maybe pictures sometime this week.

How my children will be 2.5 years apart by doing nothing

2011-06-10T19:23:00.004-05:00

I feel like I need to make a disclaimer - I'm in no way, shape, or form saying you must do this to be a good mother, Christian, what have you. I'm posting this because I think its amazing and a lot of people are unaware that its even possible (or that by just breastfeeding you can't get pregnant). I also feel like some may think we purposely spaced our babies far apart, but we basically had nothing to do with it. ;-)

So, if you have any desire to not use contraception (and I advise against it) this is an awesome, completely God-designed way to space your babies.

So, Faith and new baby will be 2.5 years apart. Spaced only by breastfeeding. God is amazing and designed our bodies so perfectly :). I will explain...

Prolactin is a hormone produced during breastfeeding, it also suppresses ovulation. The production of this hormone is affected by frequency of suckling, proximity to your baby, and being well rested. So, when someone mothers in a "primal" way, typical of "attachment parenting", using only what God gave them - they will have an absence of ovulation for 14 months on average. God didn't send our newborns with pacifiers, formula, bottles, cribs, infant car seats used outside of the car (I know all of these things can have there place or are needed in certain families and situations). Anyway, surprise - you don't NEED any of it! If you would like natural spacing between your children this is a sort of "checklist", I'll give reasons for each being necessary.

No bottles, pacifiers, formula - obviously this would affect prolactin levels. All suckling is to be done at the breast. Pumping does not have the same effect. I have a friend who just does not understand that pacifiers have an impact, but breastfeeding is so much more than nourishment, its comfort too (which is when the pacifier comes in for many moms)
Co-sleeping. This encourages nighttime feedings and prolactin levels are said to be highest/most affected during the night. Also just being close to your baby raises levels! So if you decide to nightwean your 2 month old, expect your cycle to return quickly! And, most babies sleep better when they are near mom anyway. This also allows mom more sleep since she doesn't have to wake up for night feedings... YAY!
Baby sets schedule. No schedules for nursing, baby determines length and time of feeding. I think this one is pretty obvious - a lot less nursing if you only nurse every 3 hours for 20 minutes. What amazes me most is that God made it so that the most common sense, easiest, simplest way is what will space your babies apart. You don't need a book to tell you when the next feeding will be. I LOVE simplicity and not having to think and, postponed fertility = BONUS! :)
No solids before 6 months. And slowly introduce them after that. I've read that the gut sometimes doesn't fully close until 8 months. And no medical association recommends solids at 4-6 months anymore for breastfed babies, they all say 6 months. And the total intake remains the same, so if they eat 1 oz of food, that is replacing 1 oz of breastmilk. Solids should only be for fun for the first year - you don't need to feed your baby 3 meals a day of solids.
no separation/delaying feedings. I understand sometimes moms have to work, and unless they have a situation where they can bring their baby with them - this wouldn't work. It really is easy to bring baby with you wherever you're going though, throw them in a sling/baby carrier and you're good to go!
Nap. Taking a daily nap with your baby. The book "Breastfeeding and Natural Child Spacing" says this could be a big factor in whether or not you experience delayed fertility. I think it says a nap of about 30 minutes. Honestly, I hate this one. I hardly ever took a nap with Faith, but I still held her and sat on the couch with the laptop for the majority of her naps until she was almost 1. I felt completely rested because I would sleep 10 solid hours every night :). Anyway, if you want more info on why napping affects you, you can buy the book used for pretty cheap, she goes into a lot of detail on how important the nap is for some women, but I'm a rebel ;-) haha. Also, the other areas I listed were just common sense for us, we were doing it anyway before I knew it would delay fertility, maybe this one would be easier if we lived in a culture where "siestas" are the norm. I can definitely see this one being difficult if you have a lot of kids already.
Comfort Nurse. Nutrition is only part of nursing - comfort is such a huge part, letting your baby continue to suckle after its asleep, allowing them to nurse when they are upset but not necessarily hungry, nursing to sleep, nursing in the middle of the night (this is also for nutrition for most babies for a long long time). In essence - the dreaded "human pacifier". *gasp* could there be anything worse?! (sense the sarcasm?)

Now, I need to say that there is a small percentage that will get there cycles back before 6 months no matter what. There are also women who get such a long break that they have to completely wean to get pregnant. But average is 14 months - I got 17 months (probably due to the amount Faith nurses at night and her not eating much food) and it took another 6 months after that due to my luteal phase issues (which also could have been attributed to breastfeeding). One of my friends was concerned and thought something was wrong with me since I hadn't gotten my period back, but we weren't meant to have years and years of periods - its only recent generations where that has been the norm, since women have stopped having large families. My sister's doctor even told her that its not good for your body to have so many periods (though that was to convince her to take birth control pills for health issues since they will eventually stop/slow your periods. I'm pretty sure its better to have years of periods than to take chemicals & hormones for years to stop them lol).

I also think its quite funny that the opponents to mothering this way, call their way "God's Way". Really? Why? God wanted us to use clocks and schedules and separate sleeping rooms and be afraid of holding our babies too much? hmm it doesn't say that in the Bible, so should we not assume whatever is most natural is how God designed it to work best? and funny that it works out that way too (in regards to fertility, milk production, infant growth, attachment, etc). I just can't imagine Mary saying "well, baby Jesus, its not yet 6 according to the sun dial. Its still your naptime, no milkies for you.". I don't know... just doesn't sound like her to me. Or can you imagine Jesus not wanting to spoil the children by holding them too much? Why do we use the phrase "spoiling/spoiled" for children anyway?? Food spoils when its left alone, forgotten, and untouched. :(

Here is a lot more info if anyone is interested.

Hospital vs. Homebirth

2011-05-16T16:14:00.002-05:00

I CAN NOT make a decision. So someone tell me what you think I should do because I'm completely unreliable. Mike is leaving the decision up to me, but I know he hopes I'll pick hospital again (he really liked the food and it being free)

homebirth: I found a good midwife here that would only be $1200 (which is half her normal fee) if I have prenatals up until 28 weeks at the base hospital (yuck). I'm not sure how comfortable I feel about having a homebirth, I know midwives are trained to handle all sorts of "variations of normal" and carry oxygen and know CPR and have things for hemorrhage. and Faith had shoulder dystocia and that scares the crap out of me, because thats like 5 minutes or your baby dies or has severe brain damage (granted it would probably be handled in a better way than it was in the hospital). We are also 25 minutes from the hospital (driving speed limit). Also not keen on having prenatals on base for that long, having to walk around sick people, nurses being mad at me for declining flu shot, tests, etc. They also can't handle ANYTHING there, they thought I could be dehydrated when I had morning sickness with Faith so I had to drive 45 min to the Army hospital just to pee in a cup, them to tell me I'm fine and they gave me a script for anti-nauseau meds. stupid. Just generally not sure if I even WANT a homebirth, I feel like I *should* want it, and that I'm "uneducated" (as some might say...) for not wanting one.

The other thing that turns me off to homebirth is the hostility towards hospital birth I feel from some people in the HB community, many times its warranted but other times its just ignorance! for instance I interviewed a midwife and she was shocked that I didn't receive an episiotomy, epidural or pitocin... I don't know it seemed kind of easy to avoid those things but maybe thats just because I went in fully educated, prepared and carefully chose my care provider. And I just read on the internet, someone said that if you care about what happens to your baby after birth then you should choose homebirth because you can't decline hep b, vit k or eye ointment in the hospital. ummm yes you can! ugh, now that is ignorant. You might have to fight for it (I didn't have to), but you can decline them.

OB at hospital: I would use a CNM again but their are none anymore at the hospital Faith was born at. :( So I found this awesome sounding OB, his website mentions honoring birth plans, lowering c-section risks, and supporting natural birth. Just general awesomeness to read on an OB website. And he's in a solo-practice, meaning he will deliver your baby not whoever is on call. I interviewed him and one of the first things he says, after I told him there aren't any CNMs anymore at the specific hospital he says "I can be a midwife!" and went on to say how I could have a doula, Faith can stay the night in the hospital with us if we want, he has never routinely done episiotomies (the last one he did the woman requested it!) and couldn't even give me a statistic for the rate, his c-section rate is 15-18% but he is not happy with it being that high, but because women demand its hard to bring it down. I don't have to have the glucose tolerance test if I don't have any other symptoms/risk factors, don't have to have antibiotics during labor if I'm gbs+, he prefers delayed cord clamping, was totally supportive of birthing in any position.. he said "How do I know what's comfortable?" hahaha. He will deliver breech and twins vaginally, I asked him how often he sees moms deliver without pain meds or augmentation like pitocin he said "all the time, just this morning in fact!" Honestly he seemed more open-minded than the midwife I planned on using at the hospital. He said "I don't know what the right answer is, I just give you the information so you can make your own informed decision". Buuuuutttt, I feel like he could just be answering all my questions right, putting on a show, ya know. I'd hope not, but I can't help but think that - I'm a total skeptic. He also said I could probably birth in the tub (though he didn't act super confident in his answer), which i know is against hospital policy and I'm pretty sure that wouldn't happen, so I don't know if he just doesn't know what he's talking about w/regards to the waterbirth thing or if he's just trying to please me. And its a man and that is kind of weird to me.

There is one CNM that delivers at a different hospital, I've heard they aren't as "baby friendly" and that the hospital Faith was born at is the best in town to give birth at... so, idk. I've heard really good things about the CNM though, haven't interviewed her yet. It's slightly further away and a friend told me she would be out of town a week before my due date, so, I really don't know. I know I should just interview her though, SO tired of interviews though!

If I went the hospital route again, I would have a doula and a birth photographer this time because I'm so disappointed that I have no pictures from Faith's birth. I didn't have a doula for Faith's birth but luckily my MW ended up being there the entire labor and never left my side so she was an awesome doula, but I feel like with an OB they aren't necessarily going to be there the whole labor and I feel like I'll need extra back up to advocate for me. But if we did homebirth I wouldn't need a doula but I wouldn't be able to afford the photographer or anything else like a chiropractor!

seriously sometimes I wish I didn't know or think so much.

PREGNANT!!!

2011-04-19T16:41:00.005-05:00

I'm so so so so so excited! After 6 months of trying and having luteal phases of 6-7 days, 2 months of taking a b-complex, and 1 month of Vitex - I'm pregnant! As I write this, I'm 3weeks and 5 days. lol its so early! I won't be posting this until at least 6 weeks because we will be telling my family first when we go visit in a few weeks. I took a test yesterday and there was a very very very very faint line, so faint I thought for sure I was imagining it. Then I took a more sensitive test this morning and sure enough, definitely two lines! Michael had no idea, I mean he knew we were trying to get pregnant but he didn't think it was even possible based on the last 6 months, so today when I put Faith in the t-shirt *I* wore when my little sister was born that says "I'm the big sister" and told her "go show dada" he was confused and all "why would you put her in that? we can't have a baby, you're barren" uh, no honey... I'm pregnant! AHH YAY, I just can't believe it! Faith and baby brother/sister will be 32 months apart (2 years and 7 months). I'm due on/around Dec. 29. I'm SO excited to pick out names - its my favorite! I wonder how much morning sickness I'll have this time - I had it so awful last time, but I think that was due to the progesterone cream... so we'll see. I'm planning on doing some freezer cooking in the next week or two for a ton of meals just in case I'm incapacitated - last time it was ramen and boxed quick meals, I definitely want to avoid that this time around. hmmm and I need to get some prenatals.

The timing is crazy - when I found out I was pregnant with Faith we went to visit my parents around the same time, early in the pregnancy, and were able to tell them in person, like this time! And we just went to the zoo the other day, the last time we went to the local zoo was when I had just found out I was preg with Faith! So I realized that at the zoo and thought I must be pregnant this time!

Update: I'm 6 weeks now... still no morning sickness! I'm a little queasy in the morning but after I eat its ok. The past few days its been kind of painful when Faith latches on, but only lasts a few seconds. I also found the most amazing OB, and might interview a CNM when we get home too. The CNM that delivered Faith isn't delivering babies anymore and neither is the other CNM in her office that I was going to use. Such a good thing because I wouldn't have found this amazing OB and I think he's better :)

Raw Milk!

2011-04-11T16:01:00.005-05:00

I get to pick up my first gallon of raw milk this week! I've been on the wait list for 2 months. I'm so excited to make butter & yogurt & cheese! I don't know how long we will keep it up for, I guess it depends how much we like it. I've been buying low temp pasteurized/nonhomogenized organic milk for $7/gallon (did you know almost all organic milk is ultra-pasteurized, thats worse than they do for non-organic! I've heard it called "ultra-dead" lol), but there is almost no cream AND it starts tasting weird 4 days after you open it so we end up throwing part of it out some weeks. the raw milk is $11/gallon (if I didn't have to pay for a delivery charge it would be less than $9)... ugh! it kills me!

speaking of milk...

I was pumping for about 5 weeks for a friend that adopted a baby, I've stopped now because pumping and nursing while trying to get pregnant doesn't help, plus that 4oz bottle was just an amazing day it was usually more like 2 oz max. But this organization is amazing : Human Milk for Human Babies if you have extra breastmilk, you should really consider finding your local group and donating to a mom unable to breastfeed!

Official

2011-04-10T15:45:00.003-05:00

Yay! As of today... I know I said on pentecost, but it got moved up and they gave us like 2 weeks notice. typical. So I was confirmed and had my first holy communion :-)

AND get this: the Saint I chose, St. Gianna, I picked her because she sacrificed her life for that of her unborn child (and most saints were nuns and I find it harder to relate to them)... I've been reading her biography: she had homebirths for 3 of her 4 children IN THE '50s "it is good for children to be born at home within the family", she "nursed as long as her milk let her" and "I can't conceive of a mother slapping a child". :-D amazing.

now just some new pictures.

My baby will be 2 in just a little over a month! *tear* she's so big! some of her favorite phrases are "I do" when you ask her if she wants something, "oh no its stuck!", she loves pointing out Jesus "sheshus!". awww she is so precious to me.

New AAP car seat guidelines

2011-04-02T14:02:00.002-05:00

Yay! Keep 'em rear-facing to the height and weight limits of the seat or at least 2.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/42186101/ns/today-today_news/

"One-year-olds are five times less likely to be injured in a crash if they are in a rear-facing car seat than a forward-facing seat, according to a 2007 analysis of five years of U.S. crash data. Put another way, an estimated 1,000 children injured in forward-facing seats over 15 years might not have been hurt if they had been in a car seat facing the back, said Dr. Dennis Durbin, lead author of the recommendations and a pediatric emergency physician at Children's Hospital of Philadelphia."

http://thestir.cafemom.com/baby/117755/aaps_new_car_seat_guidelines

"It was believed that 1 year and 20 pounds was the benchmark for forward facing babies in car seats, despite evidence elsewhere that that was still dangerously early. Now, hopefully, with new guidelines, parents and doctors can get on board and spread the word about the safest practices for children. Here are the details.

New Rear-Facing Recommendation: Parents are to keep children rear-facing until 2 years old, or until they reach the maximum height and weight for the seat as noted in the manual.

Safe Kids agrees. Two years is a goal easily met, considering even some of the lowest cost seats now rear-face until 40 pounds. When your baby outgrows their infant carrier, that is when you buy a convertible seat that rear faces longer, not a forward-facing seat."

Potty & my dream dog!

2011-03-28T00:57:00.005-05:00

17 months old

3 weeks old

hehe I just love that newborn picture! I'm really glad we decided to EC... even if it means its made being 100% potty trained harder - since she's been 50% potty trained her whole life, there isn't that excitement about getting a new potty or going in the potty... she's just "meh, old hat" about it. That position she's in in the newborn picture is still her preferred way of pottying.... so I've been bribing with chocolate chips to get her to use her potty seat.

And, since I have nothing to do on the internet anymore - I've been looking up dog breeds for like 2 days straight and found the perfect one for us - we have very limited choices because we need a very light to non-shedding dog and one that is good with small children and doesn't require tons of grooming (no poodles) and is easily trainable/good temperament, and I just like bigger dogs.... enter bergamasco!!

Unfortunately it seems to be a very rare breed, there are only like 5 breeders in the U.S., one of which requires you to go to NY to pick up your pup so they can meet you and another isn't sure if she's even going to have another litter. Just my luck! I don't even want a puppy - at all! I want an adult dog that is already trained and spayed/neutered and already has all his puppy shots, etc, I have no desire for a puppy but seriously, finding an adult of this dog seems impossible (heck, finding a puppy seems impossible). *sigh* how adorable are those dreads?! ;-)

Florida?

2011-03-23T17:34:00.003-05:00

There is a chance we could be moving to Florida in JUNE! Mike put in his BOP (base of preference) for Tyndall AFB (along with some other bases, so we could get one of those too but wouldn't be moving as soon or we could stay here for 2 more years) and they have an opening, but another guy he works with also put in for it... so we'll see! They should tell us in the next month. I've never even been to a real beach before! I kind of hope we get it, but I also sort of hope we don't because I like my friends here and I don't know how I feel about humidity anymore. So, I'll really be ok either way, but its kind of exciting to think about living on a beach in a state where you can buy raw milk labeled as pet food ;-) not to mention - SEA LEVEL! I hate high altitude baking! So, if we do get it - that is not even 3 months to move across the country! I'm trying not to obsess, I hate not knowing though!!!

no facebook!

2011-03-12T23:03:00.004-06:00

look at all those teeth!

So, I gave up lent for facebook and feel totally cut off from the world now! hahahahaha I wrote gave up lent for facebook!! I don't even want to fix it because it is too hilarious! Anyway, I do spend less time on the computer, because there is nothing to do on here! I really need to make a to do list because I'm not getting anything else done by not being on the internet! http://40daysforlife.com/

Faith and I went to that on Friday. It was really nice and sad at the same time, I just felt sick standing outside of planned parenthood knowing what goes on. :(

I made a slipcover for the kinderpack. pretty cute huh? It took me all of 10 minutes.. I made it out of an old sheet. sorry the picture isn't cropped, I'm too lazy to edit pictures.

Catholic Church

2011-02-28T01:00:00.006-06:00

Not 100 in the United States hate the Roman Catholic Church, but millions hate what they mistakenly think the Roman Catholic Church is. -- Bishop Fulton J. Sheen

Yep, thats right folks. We've been going to Catholic Church. GASP! I know. Well, Mike and I were married in the Catholic Church and I was going to convert (though only because I wanted our family to go to church together) back when we first moved here, but Mike had a change of heart which I had been praying for. So we started going to our current, lovely, family integrated church right after that, about 2.5 years ago. We were growing increasingly frustrated with it though since I end up out in the hall for the entire service with Faith running around... so I started looking for a solution, of course there really isn't one, its just hard going to church with a little one. But I started looking into other local churches around here. We wanted something with young families and most of those churches don't have the kind of worship/formality we believe in. And, unless you go to a non-denom, how do you decide which denomination to go to? There are 33,000 (probably more, I don't know how old that number is) different denominations! I was raised Baptist, but who am I to say that those Presbyterian's baptizing infants are wrong when they use the SAME Bible to defend their beliefs too. So, how the heck can anyone decide which one is true when everyone is yelling "SOLA SCRIPTURA!"? I want to go to the Church that preaches the TRUTH! There can only be one truth, unless we're going to say, like some non-Christian worldviews say, that everyone has to find their own truth and my truth is different than yours, etc. So... maybe this sola scriptura thing isn't working out so well. Look at all the division, is that what Jesus intended? Plus, no one believed in using the Bible alone as the sole rule of faith until Martin Luther came along in 16th Century. Did they all get it wrong for 1500 years? Is Sola Scriptura even IN the Bible?! "all doctrine is inspired by God and profitable for reproof....." hmmmm. profitable. but I don't see where it says "the only thing profitable". And speaking of Martin Luther, did you know he wanted to remove a bunch of other books from the NT like James and Romans and Revelations. He even referred to James as the "epistle of straw" (maybe because it says faith without works is dead?;-). He also believed in the perpetual virginity of Mary and in the Real Presence of Christ in the mass (though to a slightly different extent). I was surprised! And there wasn't even an official Canon of Scripture for the New Testament until 300 something AD. 300 years! What did those people do?! Obviously they couldn't rely on the Bible alone to teach them what to believe, they were taught from oral tradition! You know what the Bible says is the pillar and foundation of truth? The church! (1 tim 3:15)

Needless to say Michael was a little more than surprised when I told him I thought we should maybe go to Catholic Church again. He's very on-board though. He was going through a faith-crisis right before this and I could tell he was very relieved when I mentioned it.

Ok, well I'm not going to go into every single theological reason why, but another huge factor was that we already believe in the cultural aspects of Catholicism. We don't have to search for some fringe fundamentalist church to hear that contraception is wrong or that radical feminism is destroying families. They are actively against abortion. children are welcome & encouraged to be in the service with their parents. Many of the prominent breastfeeding, natural mothering, gentle discipline books are written by Catholics (Kippley, Popcak) - heck, LLL was started by 7 Catholic women. Sears' are Catholic too. huge points for Catholicism in my book ;-)

This was the first thing I listened to after I started reconsidering Catholicism - Household of Faith its by two formerly Protestant women. sooo great and its free so you should listen to it!

A great book by a Presbyterian Minister & his wife on their journey converting to the Catholic Church

An awesome defense against every anti-Catholic argument

EWTN audio from The Journey Home - a show interviewing Protestant Pastor's that have converted to the CC

And yes there are Catholics who don't know squat about the Bible or what the Catholic Church teaches... but there are also Protestants who are the same way. The Catholic Church doesn't teach that we are saved by works or that we should worship Mary or that Mary is equal to Jesus or that everyone outside the CC is going to hell, or ... probably most everything you've heard isn't true.

So... there you have it. I used to listen/read tons of anti-Catholic stuff, so don't throw that at me thinking I haven't seen it yet, I know all of the arguments. I even grew up in a Church where the Pastor was an ex-Catholic! I've really been putting off telling people because I'm so afraid of what people will say/think/ask and I'm a total conflict avoider in real life because I'm so so so bad at thinking on my feet. I know a few of you are very anti-Catholic so just be gentle and read some things from a Catholic perspective instead of only anti-Catholic. "There is no meaner, more hateful person on earth than a Christian who suspects you have gotten your theology wrong."

Ok, well... I'm really excited about it! I'll be received into the Catholic Church at Pentecost. I'm in a conversion class full of other adults with protestant backgrounds, its been so encouraging to be able to fellowship and discuss with others in the same boat. We have a reconciliation retreat tomorrow.... yay!!

Please don't hate me. I'm so scared to post this! ahhhhhh :-|

Church!

2011-02-27T14:37:00.002-06:00

Faith and I went to church alone today (not this church, just a pretty picture I found)! First time thats ever happened, only because Mike worked last night and obviously wasn't going to get up 2 hours after he got home to go to Church and I just felt like going :) I almost didn't go, because I must be insane to try taking her by myself!! But, she sat through the entire service!!!! I can't even believe it! Granted, it was only an hour but I didn't have to take her out at all. well, once because she said she needed to go potty, which is also a HUGE deal because she hardly ever tells me before she goes. and she kept asking for food (of course I brought none) and nursed like 5 times and wanted this girl's baby doll in front of us. But she was pretty good! I haven't been able to sit through an entire service since she was like 3 months old. I still got nothing out of it because I was trying to occupy her the whole time, but its progress!

I'll say more about WHERE we went to church later, but I'd like to save the reprimands and concerns for my soul for another day ;-)

Sick baby

2011-02-18T01:38:00.004-06:00

lots of puking :( Thankfully I think its over now.

Edit: not over. As soon as I posted this, she started fussing in her sleep on the couch so I was going to move her upstairs to our bed and go to sleep myself. I take her up there, I had already pre-planned so I had everything ready and certain lights on that needed to be on, I go up there (meanwhile she is gagging on the way up the stairs) and none of the lights are on, none of the light switches work (keep in mind Mike is working nights this month so he's not here). So, she threw up on the floor/me 3 times in the span of 30 seconds while I'm helpless because I can't see anything! AHHHH I'm not even going to try to clean it up since there is no light and its scary up there! Vomit on carpet for 8 hours will be fine right? Why does electricity not work in half my house?!

I haven't blogged since August!!!

2010-12-22T16:35:00.008-06:00

That is crazy! Faith doesn't let me be on the computer much lately, which is actually a good thing - I spend way less time on facebook :-). My laptop is in the kitchen and, unless she is really distracted, she will push at my legs until I get off. And, I have been knitting up a storm for Christmas - I knitted a scarf for everyone in my family in 3 weeks.... ok not a real scarf, just a neckwarmer... but thats 4 neck warmers in barely 3 weeks. And I can't really knit when Faith is awake - so I had to use my only free time during naps and after she went to sleep at night. blech! So glad thats over with.

Faith is 19 months old!! She says about 20 words and she's pretty much potty trained now. At 17 months, after hearing one of my friends with a baby the same age as Faith who didn't do EC talk about starting potty training I was like WHAT? Maybe I should get on the ball here! haha We hadn't been doing much EC, just first thing in the morning and after her nap, and she was wearing cloth diapers throughout the day and would tell us when she peed her in diaper. So I just started putting panties on her and reading her a book on the potty and she took to it immediately! Most of the time we'll go a few days without having a miss and she was telling us when she needed to go, but she's teething now so its kind of iffy but if I remember to take her fairly often she'll hold it. We still do diapers out of the house because it makes me nervous not to, but she stays dry almost all the time anyway.

Oh!!! AND (tmi?) I think I've finally got my period back. yay? Faith still nurses a lot and all night long, but she is starting to eat more solids... somedays lol.

My family came a few days ago and they brought our Christmas presents :) so here are some pictures in no particular order because blogger uploads them in reverse.

a hammock! Its in our bedroom - its so fun and comfy. Oh and her waldorf doll is with her too

my safely rear-facing 19 month old :)

reading with Grandpa

with Aunt Michelle and Aunt Emily

Grandma

a rough day of teething/sickness. Oh our tv is new too! Faith can't turn it off and on anymore because we mounted it on the wall! YAY!

I got an awesome new camera for my birthday! (I'm 23 now! crazy!) I've never had a dSLR before and I'm love love loving it!!! I also bought this awesome kinderpack, its toddler size... ssssooooo great (we haven't been the thriftiest in the last month if you couldn't tell lol!)!! She fell asleep with Gerber's eye in her mouth. Anyone else watch Gerber as a child?

We love to go on walks... except not so much when its freezing.

Picture Post: 15 months old, Wrap Rant, and some DIY

2010-08-31T17:40:00.019-05:00

First off- I highly recommend woven wraps... they are amazing and 100% worth every penny. You can use them from birth to... whenever. There are a ton of different carries you can learn: front, back, hip, nursing- its endless! And, unlike stretchy wraps - they are still super supportive far far far past 15lbs. They have a steep learning curve, but its worth it! I started wrapping when Faith was 5 months old and outgrew the sleepy wrap. Anyway, on with the show! This is Anna she is made by Storchenwiege and this is how we used her today...

...For a 3 hour nap. She is still sleeping actually and I'm very comfortable. This is in a reinforced rucksack carry which I just tried today and I love it. Faith doesn't nurse to sleep very often anymore, but she likes to be wrapped to sleep, sometimes I take her off after she falls asleep, sometimes not.

as a hammock

She loved it!

I left her alone with this book for 5 minutes and she ate the entire corner off... she was suspiciously quiet, no wonder.

She loves to put our shoes on. :-D

Mmmm meatballs

Isn't this so cute?! She is smelling my wilted basil plant!

Family picture via self-timer. haha. use your mind to crop out Mike's feet. Faith is nursing, isn't she giant?

DIY shape sorter. We're only sorting one shape obviously, and she still just tries to shove it through. I think circles would have been the smarter option...

tape a cardboard box closed, cut shapes out of the top, make a hole in the side to retrieve "shapes", cover sides of openings using duct tape to make the edges not so sharp, use glue gun or fabric glue to attach scrap fabric to box. Viola!

DIY Babywearing sweater!

You need a stretchy knit sweater with zipper (buttons would work too)... hold on, I have to tell you about this sweater. It's from Anthropology and I found it at Goodwill with the $90 price tag still attached!!! LOVE! Ok, so baby on your back, put it on backwards and have someone zip you up! HAHAHA. Don't worry, I only go on walks after dark like this...

She is 15 months old now. Weighs 22 lbs (she weighed like 20lbs at 7 months so she has really slowed down the weight gain) and is 31" tall. She says ball, dog, mama, dada, down (I think), and no. She LOVES going to the play area at the mall, you know, the germ infested place you swore you would never allow your child to play at before you had kids (no? just me then?). We have to wait until after 8pm to go because its less crowded then and she really likes to climb up/slide down this one slide over and over again. Its fun to watch.

This is our new house :). Having our stuff split between the two levels is hard... I'm still getting used to it and trying to figure out how to make it practical. ugh. I like the space though, a lot!

the end.

Church Nurseries

2010-08-02T00:26:00.003-05:00

Today we visited a different church. One with a nursery. It wasn't like a real church nursery, no one demanded I hand my baby over or assigned security bracelets or parent pagers... just a room with toys and an adult assigned to help in it. I thought maybe it would be good, I would get to listen to the sermon finally, Faith would play. Great.

Well, maybe I should start with the fact that I haven't really sat in church for a year. I sit out in the hall with Faith, since our normal church doesn't have a nursery. I liked this fact for a while, but now that she is getting older and just wants to play - I see their purpose. I've also only left her in the care of others once. I had a dentist appointment and was gone for 2 hours when she was 5 months old.... bad bad bad decision she was one very sad baby when I got back and didn't stop crying for 30 more minutes! Mike takes off work for my dentist appointments now ;-)

So, we try out this other church. I go sit back in the nursery with her for 20 minutes, she is playing and interested in toys so I sneak out - back in to the service. But all I can think about is what she is doing back there... is she sad? Does she miss me? Does she know I'm gone? Is she playing with the balls? What are the adults doing in there? Did they do background checks? I might as well be back there with her, because I'm getting nothing from being out here! So after 4 minutes I hear crying. I go back there and sure enough- crying hysterically, splotchy face, hyperventilating... that's my daughter! AHHHH so sad. So... all this to say, I won't be leaving Faith in a nursery again and I'm glad to know that I'm not missing out on anything by our church not having one.

Off-topic: what would you say to someone who asks you when you're going to have another baby when you want one right now but you haven't ovulated in 2 years? haha, pretty specific, right? I should say something like "In God's timing" but I usually say "whenever" to stop myself from saying "ask my ovaries %*#(@!!" UGH I just hate getting that question!

BoBB

2010-07-11T00:04:00.000-05:00

The Business of Being Born is a great documentary on birth and the state of maternity care in America. If you plan on maybe, possibly, ever being a Mother or Father you need to watch this movie. And its free... so just do it. In fact, I'll just post the first part here for your convenience. Who knows how long this will be available on youtube, but you can watch it as an instant on netflix if you are so privileged.

I miss blogging

2010-06-30T15:19:00.004-05:00

I haven't been on here in a few weeks. We made it home from Pennsylvania.... eventfully to say the least. Our car overheated on the way there, we barely made it there in time after getting completely drenched in a freak, 5 minute, thunder storm while switching our bags from one car to the other. We were almost charged a seat for Faith since we didn't have her birth certificate (what is up with southwest? They are the only ones to ask for this! Then they said that I should have faxed it to myself while I was on my trip... what?!). Then security has to throw away my new natural, etsy sunscreen because I forgot it was in my purse. We sit on the runway for an hour because of weather while the guy behind us is saying "da plane boss da plane" to his 3 year old over and over again. Faith fell asleep mid-flight, about 30min into her nap she starts crying unconsolably in her sleep and vomits all over me.

I hate New York now. Not fun with a baby in the summer at all. Its too hot to wear her and too difficult to use the stroller with the subway, so we did a bit of both. On the 5 hour drive back from new york Faith was hysterically crying a good portion of the time. I never know what to do when she is like that... I tried nursing her in her carseat, distracting her, nothing. She just wanted OUT. I'd let her out for a few minutes and put her back in, which only made it worse. I just kept thinking... would you rather have a dead baby or a sad baby? I confess, let her out... I know, bad, very bad, mommy. But, we still had over an hour to drive and she was way too upset to fall asleep, even after I let her out she cried for a good 20 minutes after because she was ssoooo scared. Poor girl, thanks Jesus for keeping her safe.

We got a poodle puppy! Then Michael decided he didn't like dogs after all, so we gave him back after a week. It was bitter sweet because... I don't know why anyone ever gets a puppy. It was SO hard with puppy & Faith. oh my. I'm very relieved, but kind of sad at the same time. I really had no time to do anything at all! It was miserable, now my plants are dying because I forgot to water them for 5 days in a row. I'm sure it would have changed once he wasn't a puppy anymore... but that could last 2 years! I really just wish we could go get a shelter dog, but we can't handle shedding and Michael is allergic to some dogs it seems. And I'm definitely not getting another dog until Faith is like 6... and I'll have 10 kids by then, so they can all take care of it. hahaha jk (about the 10 kids part)

We are moving! Did I tell you that? Michael's supervisor is leaving and we can take his house! Its two stories with carpet and a fenced yard. 3bedroom, 2.5baths, more open floor plan so the kitchen isn't secluded in a little hallway (which I HATE about this house). Its about the same size as our house now, except more living space because right now - half our house is the basement which I don't like. I LOVE moving! Organizing, planning, arranging. AHHH I could do it once a year for the rest of my life. lol This will be our 3rd house in 2.5 years on the same base (the other move wasn't by choice though).

My family is coming to visit in a week! They haven't been here since last summer when Faith was 1 month old (we have visited them since then, though). That will be fun, pretty sure my sisters hate me now that we don't have a puppy though.

Michael made "Below the Zone". So, he gets to rank up 6 months sooner than expected - so its basically like winning $800! Woo!

"Vacation"

2010-06-11T14:54:00.003-05:00

We are on "Vacation" right now... whatever that means after you have a child. It is SO exhausting chasing a one year old around a non-baby proof house. There are 7 other people here and they of course offer to follow her around, but you know, they get distracted or something and next thing you know she is putting a whole grape in her mouth or trying to climb up the stairs in the blink of an eye. Not to mention- I HATE old houses that have no carpeting and creaky floors. Seriously, could the sound travel any better? If people are talking downstairs it sounds like they are right out in the hall. Needless to say- Faith is having a hard time napping/falling asleep and I'm having a hard time not being mad at everything. hmmmm 11 more days. I am looking forward to seeing some of Mike's family that we haven't seen in 3 years and his parents live in the town where we met, so its fun being back here and going back to all the places we would hang out at. Its the cutest little town ever, with a ton of family owned businesses and row houses. ahhh, adorable. And we are going to NYC tomorrow-Sunday so that will be fun and hopefully not too hot. I'm not even going to bring the stroller because subway = not handicap accessible.. meaning lots of stairs. And its crowded! (we have been using the stroller more because it is HOT to have a baby on your back in the summer)

And... everyone and there dog is pregnant and I'm not and I wish I was but I'm not even fertile yet (no signs of it at least). My heart aches every time I see a newborn... so I just try to remind myself how many people struggle with true infertility (not breastfeeding induced infertility lol). I guess I'm just freaked out now that I will never be able to get pregnant while breastfeeding and Faith will be 4 by the time we have another baby. lol. Yet just a few months ago I was freaked out I would get pregnant too soon. I SO do not trust God... :( its always something I'm worried about. Not even worried, I just WANT! Maybe if Faith is a little older though, I'll be able to tandem nurse and she won't wean during my pregnancy! fun! God knows what He's doing.... my body knows what its doing. words to remember. I have been having a ton of dreams lately like when I was pregnant. hmmm

sorry to be such a complainer...

Growing Kids GODS Way? Are you sure?

2010-05-30T00:14:00.003-05:00

a couple highlights from this very indepth article on the Cultic Characteristics of Growing Families International/Ezzos. I strongly encourage reading the whole article if you are involved/interested in this "ministry"/program. And now, from the people that brought you Babywise!

Note that the indispensable and exclusive role of the blood of Christ in removing the guilt of sin (Heb. 9:14, 22; 1 John 1:7) is not mentioned. Neither are parents instructed to teach their children that their guilty consciences can be absolved only by accepting Jesus as their Savior and then regularly confessing their sins to God (1 John 1:9). Surely the Ezzos do not believe chastisement is the price paid to remove the guilt of a child’s sin in the sight of God. It seems more than coincidental, however, that they failed to qualify such a potentially misleading assertion.

"repeatedly cited Matthew 27:46 — ‘…My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’ — in support of their teaching that mothers should refuse to attend crying infants who have already been fed, changed, and had their basic needs met. ‘Praise God,’ writes Gary Ezzo on page 122 ofPreparation for Parenting, ‘that the Father did not intervene when His son cried out on the cross.’ We see no way to make such an application of this verse without completely disregarding its original context and purpose."^{30 they teach that maternal instinct is an unbiblical concept and therefore imply mothers should ignore any intuitive alarms they may hear when following the GFI program (e.g., to pick up their crying babies when the program would tell them to let the babies cry).}

While GFI takes Scripture out of context to prove that some of its teachings are from God, it does not shy away from according a similar divine status to other teachings that clearly have no biblical support whatsoever. On the one hand, GFI materials acknowledge that "God is silent on the topic of infant feeding"³⁸ and that "the Bible is not specific" on how to "produce a morally responsible child."³⁹ On the other hand, their infant care book is subtitled "God’s Order for your Baby’s Day" and their child-rearing book is titled "Growing Kids God’s Way." Contrary views — even those advanced by Christians — are labeled non-Christian.⁴⁰ The overriding tone of the books is dogmatic and authoritative. They are full of feeding, sleeping, and playtime schedules and rules and "non-negotiable mandates"⁴¹ for parents to follow. Issues that the Bible is silent on and that Christians generally consider matters of convenience or personal or cultural preference become matters of Christian morality: how well a child sleeps is discussed in terms of the parents’ spirituality;⁴² directing a pretoddler’s behavior in the high chair is called "moral training";⁴³ an appendix in Growing Kids God’s Way teaches that a child’s behavior at the table is "an extension of Christian character."⁴⁴

the Ezzos have said there is "no basis"⁴⁹ for the concerns and have dismissed them as "unsubstantiated hearsay."⁵⁰ The infant program they developed warns parents of the dangers of demand feeding,⁵¹ the infant feeding practice strongly recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics.⁵² GFI describes the research supporting putting infants to sleep on their backs as "not conclusive, and the method of gathering supportive data questionable"⁵³ — despite the fact there has been no less than a 30 percent drop in the number of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) deaths in the United States since the "Back to Sleep" campaign began.⁵⁴
The Ezzos describe themselves as "professionals"⁵⁵ and have said they are replacing others as the "authority" on child-rearing.⁵⁶Yet they lack much of the background experience and education found in many of the very critics they are dismissing.⁵⁷ They have claimed to have a "network" of "hundreds of pediatricians" who provide them with "expert medical advice,"⁵⁸ but they have refused to provide the list when asked.⁵⁹ There is not one Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant on staff, though the materials give explicit breast-feeding instruction. These paradoxes may exist partly because of the Ezzos’ apparent lack of any true accountability to either church elders or a board of directors⁶⁰ and also because they actively discourage questioning both inside and outside the GFI system.

the book also instructs that even a two-week-old baby who falls asleep during the middle of a feeding and wakes up hungry two hours later should not be fed: "Babies learn very quickly the laws of natural consequences. If he does not eat at one feeding, then make him wait until the next one….Do not feed him between routine mealtimes."¹⁰¹ Lactation experts disagree. Pediatrician Marianne Neifert, author of the "Dr. Mom" parenting books, says, "Some babies…could handle the schedule. But a small baby with a mother who’s got a marginal milk supply.…Those babies could be put in jeopardy on a schedule."¹⁰² Lactation experts cite research explaining why such a schedule works for some babies, but not for others.¹⁰³

Things I would do differently

2010-05-09T12:27:00.004-05:00

... at Faith's birth that I never thought of.

Ask what my care provider does in cases of emergency (hemorrhaging, shoulder dystocia, etc). I of course asked all the usual - csection rates, episiotomy, induction, cord around neck etc etc. But I neglected to ask about certain things that might come up during labor and it kind of bit me in the butt as I wasn't thrilled with the way a couple things were handled.

Insist on skin to skin for a longer period of time. Sure, we had like 20 or 30 minutes before she was weighed & measured and swaddled (and we probably only had that since I was totally naked, otherwise I would have had a gown on). But, after my SIL had issues with her newest baby not latching at all and after doing some research for her- turns out skin to skin is MIGHTY important for breastfeeding.

Don't shower at the hospital... worst shower of my life.

Have someone take pictures... we have no labor pictures and I'm so sad.

I might not take evening primrose oil, even though I think it did help in some aspects- my sister said it could cause hemorrhaging.

Insist on delivering placenta while cord still intact - I wasn't really clear on this and decided to just have a see what happens attitude, and since I was hemorrhaging they cut it early... they did ask me first though. But who is thinking clearly the second after your baby is born?

I don't think we will find out the sex next time. yay!

Overall I was VERY pleased with my hospital experience. The nurse I had was great and never once asked me if I wanted pain meds. And my midwife was there with me the whole time. Everyone was very chill (except when her shoulders got stuck). After she was born they pretty much left us alone (except one nurse kept telling me I wanted tylenol... I didn't - I wasn't in pain. No wonder though, they charge $3/pill!). I really reallly loved the "room service" and not having to cook or do dishes or rely on the kindness of others to bring us a hot meal. In fact- thats one of my motivating factors to go back next time lol. And I've heard the other midwife that also delivers there does "under the table waterbirths"- you aren't supposed to, but she says she won't force you out of the tub lol. And my MW was totally fine with delivering Faith on the toilet lol (never did because I found a more comfortable position, though it wasn't the best for gravity or stuck shoulders). No one pressured us to do any routine newborn things (baths, eye ointment, hepb, etc). I did feel pressure for the vit.k since she had some bruising but we just had to sign something for it.

But, what about next time? Then what will we do with Faith? I don't think they allow young siblings at birth in the hospital. There is a free standing birth center an hour away that our insurance pays for... but an hour away. And homebirth of course would always be my first choice but free or $2000... free... $2000? Its not even that we can't afford $2000... but its FREE at the hospital. Our insurance does pay for homebirth with a CNM but all the ones here are CPM or RM. I did call someone who said our insurance covered her fees, but only because they had her listed as CNM (she was a cpm) and they have a database online of their "preferred providers" she said that she wasn't listed on that for some strange reason and she required payment up front and she would reimburse you when/if the insurance paid her (which is standard). Shady much?

Can't I just pay a midwife like $200 to show up last minute in case anything goes awry... not even to deliver the baby- Michael could do that. lol ;-)

I don't even know why I'm blogging about this. Looking forward to next time I suppose. Michael has been saying Faith needs a baby brother/sister for about 8 months now lol. Still no period though woooohoo 21 months so far.

some links on spanking

2010-05-05T14:56:00.005-05:00

Is Spanking Biblical? This is probably the best article I have read! So much information!

And this awesome book is online again!! Samuel Martin "Thy Rod and Thy Staff"

Kevin Swanson (who is NOT anti-spanking) speaks out against the dangers of Michael and Debi Pearl (though they aren't mentioned by name) . This REALLY surprised me! I'm so glad to hear someone in the homeschool community taking a stand!

Please, I don't want to debate with anyone or make anyone feel judged for their choices.

wearing skirts

2010-04-23T19:05:00.002-05:00

I was talking with my neighbor (who homeschools and is super cool) about "those homeschoolers". you know the ones... anyway I started thinking about women who only wear skirts & dresses. I used to be one of them. I fully believed the only way to dress completely modestly & femininely was to wear skirts and dresses (like- we went to Rome and I didn't put a pair of pants on the entire trip - in DECEMBER). Let me just tell you how big of a head I got about it. I would look at all the other women at the store, or wherever, and think how I was the only one wearing a skirt and how I was such a God-honoring example of womanhood and everyone else was misled or feminists. I don't think this is how all the "dress-only" women are, but I can definitely see how it can happen with the mindset. *don't worry some of you that I know now... my judgmental dress-only philosophy didn't last that long* lol

And, who decided that pants were immodest, feminist attire? I mean, sure they weren't marketed with the homemaker as the original target audience and men wore them first. But, so what?

Anyone heard of the "Feelin' Feminine Challenge"? Its a blog challenge to only wear skirts for 1 week and to blog about how you feel and are treated whilst participating. I've considered doing it. Maybe I still will... I like wearing skirts sometimes (I have a whole closet full). I do feel prettier and more feminine when I do. BUT I feel like I can't do anything while I'm wearing a skirt... and I have to get up and down off the floor a lot and stepping all over a skirt while trying to stand up and hold a baby is not fun, feminine, graceful, or safe. And going up and down the stairs while carrying something? not so much. I guess it would depend on skirt length. Hmmm... the more I think about it the more I think pants are the homemaker's best friend! So free-ing. I guess I'm just one of those people who doesn't like to have to think about my clothes after I put them on in the morning. And maybe I have weird sensory issues, but I hate HATE getting into/out of the car in a skirt... its just feels... icky? And, I think Mike likes me better when I remind him of the girl he met at wal-mart in jeans (more on that later) than a bent-out-of-shape prairie girl who wears skirts all the time.

If you are a skirt/dress only woman... I think you are super cute and i secretly probably envy you

I was on the receiving end of this judgment recently- except much more blatantly than I ever was about skirts. It was about homebirth/hospital birth. the superiority tone and condescension was astounding. I even apologized to my sister after that (who was not involved in the discussion at all) because she is always telling me how judgmental I am. It really turned me off to all things homebirth for a while. And I was actually glad I had a hospital birth after that so I could keep a sliver of humility (even though I would love a homebirth more than anything, I don't think its in the cards for us).

2010-04-22T19:13:00.002-05:00

its a lot harder to find time to blog when you only have a desktop computer. (Faith broke our laptop- its getting repaired now and was still under warranty YAY)

Its been a while

2010-04-09T23:27:00.003-05:00

Been a while since I posted something, huh? Things have been crazy lately - my grandpa died last month. He was 97. I had gone to visit my family early in March when my sisters' had spring break. The day before I got there the doctor put my grandpa back on hospice and the day after I got there he went to the hospital. I did get to see him for a few minutes the day we got there. They found out he had contracted RSV so I couldn't see him in the hospital. I only got to see my mom for a few hours. It was sad. He died a week and a half later . I didn't think I would be able to go back because plane tickets would be so expensive, but amazingly it was only $99, booking 2 days in advance! I actually laughed when I first saw the price because I thought it said 1,000 instead of $112 or whatever it was. You can see pictures of my grandpa's life here. I'm going to miss him... but he loved the Lord, so we know where he is. :-)

YAY so Faith and I got to go back to Wichita and just our luck she got the worst cold the day before we were supposed to fly. She had 102deg. armpit temp and refused to nurse for 18 hours and just wanted to lay her head on my chest all.day.long. It was sooo sad. I thought she had been sick before - it was nothing compared to this. all the doctor gave me was cough medicine with codeine and tylenol. My friend suggested the chiropractor, so out of desperation I took her. Right after that started the 18 hours of not nursing so I was pretty mad at the Chiropractor... but in the morning (the day of flying) she was almost 100% better. No fever, she was nursing like normal and even wanted to get off my lap for a little bit!

She did ok on the planes... twice we had the seat next to us empty and twice we had someone sitting next to us. Yikes is it hard to contain a curious baby to 10 inches of space, but luckily she slept through at least 1/2 of every flight.

Faith is almost 11 months old now!!! She has been walking since 9.5 months and rarely crawls anymore. And just recently (yesterday) started wanting/eating solids. I'm a little sad about it actually. I'll give her a piece of food from my plate and she will eat it off my finger, then walk around in a circle and come back for more (if she isn't in her high chair, which is most of the time). She is so funny. She has 6 teeth... and I think she is about to get 2 more, which would make it 6 on top and 2 on the bottom. haha

we have been going to two churches since november. One is on Saturday and one is on Sunday. It's a little tiring. The one on Saturday is a "Sabbath Fellowship"... torah observant, Messianic. We like it, but its like 2.5 hours long and there isn't any space to walk around with a baby without everyone hearing/seeing you, so its stressful... very stressful. The one on Sunday is a family-integrated church and we have gone there for over a year and I love it... well, I basically just talk in the "nursing circle" out in the hall for the entire service. And no one is really our age, but all the kids our age go to those rock concert churches ;-) (not a big deal to me, but guys are different. I think Mike wants to find another video-game & football loving father. haha) Plus, I really like the fact that we are all "forced" to sit in the hall with our noisy babies and chat instead of putting them in a nursery and be able to listen to the sermon (bec. rock concert churches have nurseries lol). Does this even make sense? I need to go to bed. nothing against rock concert churches in general, if thats your thing.

Oh, and Faith broke our laptop. In a moment of weakness (or distraction), Mike was letting her bang on the keyboard. When I get on it the screen is froze and its making a clicking sound. I turn it off and back on - nothin'. Luckily we still have it under warranty. Its probably the hard-drive. Which means we lose everything, but I think its all either on this computer or still on the camera (because all I ever do is upload pictures).

Oh oh, and my younger sister is getting married in Jan I think. Its weird, even though by then she will be a year older than I was when I got married. She is in nursing school right now.

Speaking of "nursing" school -hahaha. I'm applying to be a LLL Leader. yup. I love LLL. I'm excited!

Faithers Day Parade

2010-02-26T14:35:00.005-06:00

One of her many nicknames... it was close to Father's Day and there was a mispelling in an email.

I started a journal for Faith. My sister bought it for me for Christmas and I figured if I write 1 page a month I can do it until she is like 20... I'm already behind and it's only the second month. So while I'm stuck here on the couch under a sleeping baby with one free hand- I thought I'd type it on here so I won't forget some of the things she is doing.

She starts tugging on her diaper, trying to pull off the velcro, if she peed in it.

She says mamamama if she is tired and hungry.

She only walks at night when daddy is home.

She loves drinking water out of our water bottles, even if it makes her choke.

I think she may be doing the sign for milk.

I'm super lazy about giving her solids (like once a week) and I hate putting her in her high chair, it just seems like such a hassle. Its okay though, she doesn't really NEED solids yet.

She is 9.5 months, weighs 21lbs I think and wears size 12 - 18months.

She slept through the night without nursing at all for the first time the other night... I kept waking up, trying to get her to nurse and she would latch on for 5 seconds then pull off and roll away. She was sick though and couldn't breathe very well, so I think thats why.

She still takes 3 naps/day. 2 long ones during the day and a short one at night. And nurses before, during, and after all sleeping. :-)

She likes to play in the fridge, pull things out of cabinets/drawers/bookshelves... basically play with anything but her toys.

SO SAD!

2010-02-15T16:21:00.002-06:00

This is very sad. Another (a 4 year old boy was murdered 4 years ago also) death by beating by a follower of the Pearls.

"the evidence suggests 7-year-old Lydia Schatz was being disciplined "for hours" prior to the 911 call for mis-pronouncing a word during a home-school reading lesson. When police searched the family's Crestwood Drive residence, they took a photograph of a 15-inch length of tubing lying on the parents' bed next to a children's book about a frog and a toad, which Ramsey said the girl had been reading from."

Pregnancy/birth links

2010-02-02T21:10:00.003-06:00

Pregnancy/Birth

Shape of a Mother - warning nudity... boobs and stretch marks, etc

Lotus Birth - we didn't do this, but I thought about it.

Unassisted Birth - I don't know how I feel about this...

Baby Names- the best website!!

Yoga during Labor - didn't do this either...

Placenta Prints - I think this is the coolest thing EVER! It makes a really neat picture, wish I had done it.

Guide to intact perineum

Spinning Babies - I did this when I found out Faith was posterior. She turned...

Weston A Price diet for preg/nursing moms

birth plan

rethinking circumcision

The Bible and Circumcision

Birth as a bowel movement - a great way to think about it!

Safety of U/S - I haven't read this...

Ina May Gaskin - LOVE HER

links, links, links

2010-02-01T15:45:00.002-06:00

ya know, I could have just added these in the side bar divided into sections... that would have been smarter. oh well, maybe tomorrow... or today depending on how long Faith sleeps.

Also, my dentist just called to confirm my appointment for tomorrow. I never made an appt for tomorrow. I asked what it was for and she said fillings. Last time I was there (2 weeks ago) I made it a point to ask if that was my last filling and it was. She said I had 3 more tomorrow and that she had quoted me a price of $58. I'm positive they must have scheduled it under my name on accident because if I was having 3 fillings it would cost like $120. Plus, I make it a point to schedule on government holidays so Mike can watch her. so, yeah, weird. she canceled it, but I bet the person will show up tomorrow.

one more babywearing because I just found it today

ethnic babywearing photos - beautiful!

PARENTING - yikes this is a big category

Science of Crying-it-out

10 reasons not to hit your child - Dr. Sears

Gentle Christian Mothers - fav. website EVER

To Train Up A Child - quotes from the book

Parenting Freedom - this website has EVERYTHING!

Mercola - shunning the family bed you might have to enter your email address to read it.

Harvard research on co-sleeping

Stress in infancy

A Parenting Experiment to try before doing Babywise - interesting. This website also has a neat magazine that I want a subscription to.

Time to Abolish Cribs?

Evaluating Ezzo's logic - this is great, very in depth.

Sleep Training Research

Co-Sleeping & SIDS fact sheet

Articles on Sleep

Study on Corporal Punishment - I haven't read this, it looks long...

10 Reasons not to use a pacifier - I like this!

Pygmy Model for Relations - one of my FAV articles. I only wish they were Christian.

Motherhood Bliss - a great article for Christian mothers.

Confessions of Failed Babywiser

next up... BIRTH!!!

Links...again

2010-01-29T12:25:00.002-06:00

Case for Cue-Feeding - great article

Watch Your Language - article on how language affects breast/formula perceptions

Canned vs. Formula

Lact-Aid - if you "don't make enough milk"

Natural age of weaning - I'll give you a hint, its not 12 months ;-)

Potential danger of bag-slings - those slingriders you can buy from walmart... aka "I carry my baby in a duffle bag."

Walters Organics Wrap - this is apparently an amazing wrap and cheap too, I heard it referred to as the "Poor man's Pamir" which is a VERY expensive (like $800+), hard to find wrap.

Incase I ever want to dye a wrap

babywearing tutorials

mei tai with interchangeable panel - the first MT I made... not the best, but its fun with the panels

pouch sling - with video!!! This takes like 10 minutes

DIY wrap - I haven't done this yet, but I've heard wonderful things about Osnaburg fabric as a wrap.

Scandi Mei Tai - my fav. that I've made. super comfy, but the hood on this one is super small and useless

BW poncho

hood to headrest MT - this looks amazing, but I haven't gotten around to making it yet

can you tell I'm getting sick of this yet?

Link of the Day!!!

2010-01-27T17:43:00.002-06:00

DIY nursing cover! SO EASY!

10 ways to use breastmilk ;-)

The Babywearer - amazing!!!

Link of the Day!!!

2010-01-25T16:18:00.002-06:00

to finish off the "cool baby things" folder...

17 tips for feeding toddlers

List of childrens books showing breast feeding - not bottle feeding

AP clothing I really want the "I'd like my future Husband intact" for Faith. how cute!

next up "bf/babywearing" surprise surprise.

Link of the Day!!!

2010-01-24T18:47:00.002-06:00

More than one today, because they are all from the same awesome website (that I had forgotten about until I was looking through my links!)

Baby-led solids This is what we do for solids

Elimination Communication - Everyone should at least TRY it!

Link of the Day!!!

2010-01-23T17:42:00.003-06:00

I have way, way too many links saved on this computer and they will be lost forever if I don't save them in some way (which has happened one too many times with other computers). And so starts my "Link-of-the-Day". Lets see how long I can keep this up....

Todays link is from the "cool baby things" folder

Kanoe baby hammock! I think this thing is totally awesome and I want to sleep in one!!! Its like $300 though and cosleeping is free! ;-)

8 months old

2010-01-15T13:32:00.005-06:00

Faith is 8 months old yesterday! I can hardly believe it. She is getting so big and can even stand on her own for a few seconds. These are some of the pictures we had taken on our trip to Kansas last month.

the spacing of children

2010-01-05T12:27:00.003-06:00

I have been thinking about this A LOT lately (I wrote this a month ago and am just now posting it...). I'm totally freaked out about getting pregnant now. Know how I just made that post about trusting God with our family size? Yeah well, since then, I'm really worried about it and not because I would be overwhelmed or finances or anything like that... but because I don't want to sabotage breastfeeding for her! I haven't gotten my period back (YAY its been 18 months since I've had one!), but if that happened, I might lose it! Because one usually loses their milk supply during pregnancy (at some point... be it 5 weeks or 35 weeks. and I say usually because a few will only notice a temporary decrease). And, my breastfeeding goal was at least 2 years, but, there is a chance that she would wean once I got pregnant even if she was past 12 months.

I don't know if I'm making an idol (so to speak) out of breastfeeding... but I really think it would be unfair to her if I were to loose my milk supply and have to switch to formula. I don't want to feed my baby chemicals!!! But, then I think about the other baby we would be having (hypothetically) and how I would love it too and ugh. I'm just so confused now.

This all started by the way, at a LLL meeting when someone was newly pregnant with a 7 month old and was asking about tandem nursing and the leader told her most women would have to supplement with a young baby. I LOVE LLL by the way... I go to 2 meetings a month! lol I'm thinking about becoming a leader... I don't really know, I'm not a leader at all, soooo yeah.

We do ecological breastfeeding, which is doing things like not using bottles, pacifiers or cribs and, on average, fertility doesn't return until 14 months postpartum (but that varies greatly... but it is like 98% infertility in the first 6 months or something close to that and then slowly decreases the older the baby). We were already doing most of the "standards" and infertility was just a bonus (I still don't do the napping thing... I probably should, but I have trouble falling asleep). And, it may sound, to some, like not trusting God. I was reading online someone said that they didn't do EBF because they didn't want to do ANYTHING that would prevent a child from being conceived and someone responded and said but, by not doing it you are unnaturally inducing ovulation. hmm interesting thoughts. yes. Not that there is anything wrong with pacifiers or bottles (well, sometimes there is when they cause nipple confusion and I just don't like the idea of a "mama substitute"), but if you are a person of the "quiver-full" mindset, then doesn't it make sense to only use things the Lord gave you for your baby?

So, I was thinking (and talking with Mike) if we would just do NFP again (if my period came back before 12 months or if Faith still wasn't eating a lot of solids after 12 months). Then I started thinking about NFP and how God designed us to know our fertility. Why would He do that? Why would he gives us signs to know when we are fertile or not? To tempt us into using that knowledge for evil? I don't think so... He could have made it so woman got pregnant no matter the time of month. Though... in the Old Testament (someone correct me if I'm wrong), he commands husband/wife to abstain during the menstrual period and for 7 days after, which would put it (on average) right at the time of ovulation. Obviously he wanted them making some babies. But, really how "natural" is it to abstain during ovulation, since its the most "sexually driven" (sorry, couldn't come up with a more pleasant term lol) time of the month? I don't know... I don't know... I don't know...

I probably don't even need to worry about this since she hardly eats any solids and nurses all the time still. And, even if I did get pregnant and my milk dried up I can still bond with her in all the other ways I do now. Maybe it wouldn't be a fate worse than death... anyone want to be a wetnurse? ;-)

Resolutions

2010-01-04T23:17:00.002-06:00

Every year I make 10 and it has to be done by midnight New Years Eve... I don't know why 10. But, its a nice even number. I have them dating back to '95 (I was 8). I especially love the ones like "make my bed" "wash my own clothes" (that one took until I was 18) "save money for Hanson fan club" "buy more N*SYNC cds" and "don't kiss so many boys"... not all from the same year. Every year I have something about the Bible... it started out as "Read the whole Bible" to "Read the Bible everyday" to this year "Bible". I even came up with a schedule this year for projects to do and books to read in what month so I actually get them done/read... maybe.

We got pictures taken in Wichita when we were visiting my parents.... I'll put them up soon.

Also... an addendum coming for that post about children.

Epidurals

2009-12-31T14:07:00.002-06:00

A very informative paper on medical risks of epidurals

Very interesting in light of the recent Christmas Miracle baby. Especially since in the Good Morning America interview the mom says she had just received an epidural minutes before (in fact, the anesthesiologist was the one doing cpr when the doctor came in).

From the section "Deaths from Epidural Anesthesia"

"Women are almost never given informed consent for epidurals. Even if they were just read two paragraphs from the package insert that comes with the medication used for epidurals (manufactured by Abbott Laboratories), they might think twice. The package insert states:

Local anesthetics rapidly cross the placenta, and when used for epidural, caudal or pudendal anesthesia, can cause varying degrees of maternal, fetal and neonatal toxicity....

Adverse reactions in the parturient, fetus and neonate involve alternations of the central nervous system, peripheral vascular tone and cardiac function....

Neurologic effects following epidural or caudal anesthesia may include spinal block of varying magnitude (including high or total spinal block); hypotension secondary to spinal block; urinary retention; fecal and urinary incontinence; loss of perineal sensation and sexual function; persistent anesthesia, paresthesia, weakness, paralysis of the lower extremities and loss of sphincter control all of which may have slow, incomplete or no recovery; headache; backache; septic meningitis; meningismus; slowing of labor; increased incidence of forceps delivery; cranial nerve palsies due to traction on nerves from loss of cerebrospinal fluid.

Who would sign a consent if it included the above language? The degree to which the facts about the risks of epidural anesthesia are hidden from women in labor is astonishing.

Mothers who have a fever are significantly more likely to have had epidural anesthesia.⁸² Therefor increasing the incidence of septic workups on newborns and the subsequent complications of this procedure.

We would hope that pregnant women would have a more informed explanation of the risks of epidural anesthesia than what is currently given, and would suspect that many would make other choices if true informed consent was given (before labor, when the woman still has time to prepare to cope with childbirth pain in other ways)."

Opinionated

2009-12-13T20:54:00.003-06:00

I'm super duper opinionated and judgmental. This usually isn't in real life since in real life I go out of my way to make other people feel comfortable and un-awkward and accepted and I have confrontation phobia. But, for some reason, I have this internet alter-ego that is kind of out of control. And, sometimes I don't even realize how I may come off to other people.

Also, can I just add that when I heard Mike's mom had all of her 6 kids unmedicated I was seriously, seriously disturbed by this fact. I could not let it go and made him call her and ask her why she would do that (this was before I knew anything about birth). A few weeks later, after researching things, I was begging him to have all of our future (we were engaged at the time) babies be born at home.

I have this friend... we talk occasionally online, I had told this friend who is pregnant- how birth isn't really bad (I tell every pregnant person this, and my entire childhood I said I would never have children because I never wanted to go through it and all the media portrayals are scary!). And we got started talking about her OB because she said she was an awesome doc and how I should use her when I get pregnant again. I said that I was hoping to have a homebirth (doubtful! I hate you, tricare!!!) next time so I don't think her doc would be up for that... and she thought I was crazy and I said it wouldn't really be much different since I didn't use any drugs in the hospital... she thought I was even crazier. This was a few months ago and I was very proud of myself for not being pushy and all "don't use drugs during labor or your baby will die!" haha

Fast forward to now, she posted something on facebook about taking a lamaze class and I asked her if it was all crazy breathing and said not too bad and they learned a bunch of different positions and massages etc. I was like "cool, are you planning a natural birth then? You can't exactly use positions with an epidural ;-)". Sometimes I'm an embarrassment to myself. I really didn't even think anything about it (until she didn't respond... or maybe she hasn't seen it yet)... what if she wasn't planning a natural birth- thats just mean! Usually if I think something is on the verge of inappropriate or rude, I have to consider it for a long time before typing it and I didn't.

If only I was as evangelistic about Jesus as I am about birth, circumcision, ecological breastfeeding, babywearing, cosleeping, homeschooling, EC, cloth diapers, etc. why is that?

So, I hope nobody hates me and sorry if I ever offend anyone. I'm just so passionate about things (besides Jesus :(, apparently) and never consider the possibility that there might be legitimate reasons why someone would not want/be able to do these things. Now, I need to apologize to my preggo friend.

I'm in Kansas and Faith has been nursing/sleeping on me (yes, they are synonymous) the whole time I've been typing :)

It's Not About Us

2009-12-07T11:31:00.004-06:00

Lately I've been getting frustrated with Faith. She loooves cords. Here is something I saw & found it helpful today in remembering its all age appropriate and she's not doing it to be rebellious. Just thought I'd share in case anyone else is having their baby teach them patience. It's Not About Us

I heard a newly-soon-to-be-Father responding to the comment from a child

"I bet you guys will fight over who holds the baby"

Father: "No... we don't want to hold it too much"

:-( sad, sad day for babies.

Nursing for comfort

2009-12-04T10:57:00.002-06:00

(I'm posting a lot the last few days... I get stuck on the couch and Faith falls asleep on me. thank goodness for laptops)

Since Faith is crawling and pulling up now, she gets hurt a lot. And, its so amazing to me how quickly she calms down if I just pop her on. Why do some people say not to nurse for comfort or nurse to sleep for that matter (I know, I know, so they self-soothe and not become dependent on "aids"... America and its independence lol)? bleh! This is so easy!!! Faith- please still be nursing when you are a toddler and have temper tantrums. seriously. :-)

“For you will nurse and be satisfied at her comforting breasts; you will drink deeply and delight in her overflowing abundance.” For this is what the LORD says: “I will extend peace to her like a river, and the wealth of nations like a flooding stream; you will nurse and be carried on her arm and dandled on her knees. As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you; and you will be comforted over Jerusalem.”
Isaiah 66:11-13

She bear crawls... its the cutest thing! Usually we have her nakey from the waist down at home (its just easier that way for EC, but now I'm going to be raising a nudist lol) so it hurts her knees on the hard floor (we only have carpet in our living room), I think. She is so adorable. She loves standing up and looking out the window. And its funny when she is standing and there is something on the ground she wants, so she tries to squat and hold on and grab whatever it is she wants... she ends up falling, but its cute.

And, can we talk about baths? How often? Every day is ridiculous, but then I forget so its like Oh... when was the last time you had a bath... i dont remember... last week? lol And then once I get her in the tub I can't get her to lean her head back to wash her hair so I just end up pouring water down her face, which she doesn't like.

She is over 19 pounds and will be 7 months in 10 days.

Maria Montessori

2009-12-03T09:52:00.002-06:00

A quote from Maria Montessori

"For it is not at all paradoxical to say that, while adults suffer among the poor, children suffer among the rich. Let us think, for a moment, of the many peoples of the world who live at different cultural levels from our own. In the matter of child rearing, almost all of these seem to be more enlightened than ourselves-with all our Western ultramodern ideals. Nowhere else, in fact, do we find children treated in a fashion so opposed to their natural needs. In almost all countries, the baby accompanies his mother wherever she goes. Mother and child are inseparable... Mother and child are one. Except where civilization has broken down this custom, no mother ever entrusts her child to someone else."

sad blogs

2009-12-02T14:43:00.002-06:00

I happened to stumble upon this blog . wow! This guys wife has breast cancer, finds out she is pregnant, gives birth to a little girl 3 weeks early and dies a few days after they bring their baby home from the hospital. They should not let mothers read this stuff! Way more sad than any sad movie.

Sometimes I wonder why God has never really given me a huge trial to test my faith... but then I read things like this and I'm like "Please Jesus, never let anything bad happen!" I really could not handle it. Seriously, I use to cry in bed at night from the ages of 6 to ~~yesterday~~ 12 because I was afraid my mom would die. I'm sure this stemmed from watching Full House, and really, why was the mom always dead on every show/movie marykate and ashley ever did? I also cried when I was 2 at Rock-a-Bye Baby because I wanted to know where the mama was!

So, as I'm sitting here crying; Faith asleep in my arms, (by the way, I never really know when to use a semicolon, guess I skipped that part in homeschool lol and the part about overusing parenthesis and "...") I'm so thankful that God has protected us. So, thank you people with sad stories who write blogs... you cause me to remember my blessings!

Advice needed

2009-11-24T15:20:00.002-06:00

Mike is updating his "dreamsheet" and I like to think that someone will actually look at that when they decide where they will send us next (maybe?). So, if anyone has any info- good/bad about these bases, their surrounding areas or if you have suggestions for better ones- let me know! We probably won't be moving for a few more years (like 3 or 4? I don't really know)

Wright-Pat OH (I believe this is in the SW corner... Mike has family in the OH/PA area)

Scott IL (St.Louis)

Tinker OK (OKC)

McGuire NJ

Andrews MD

McConnell (this is 5 min from my parents house!)

Lackland TX (San Antonio)

Hanscom MA (near Boston)

Faith Update

2009-11-10T10:01:00.003-06:00

In the past 2 weeks Faith has sat up on her own, said mama, got up on all 4s, said dada (and baba), crawled, had her first tooth come through, and she will be 6 months on the 14th. It's been quite an exciting time! She is so sweet... I love her so so so much! The teething hasn't really affected her, sometimes (like once or twice a night, or not at all) she cries in her sleep, but if we pick her up she stops, and for a while she wouldn't nurse unless I was laying down or she was in the sling. She also doesn't like to eat very much anymore which makes me sad. Well... she does most of her eating in her sleep at night. Her enjoyment currently comes from: electrical cords (mainly the powercord for this computer), remotes, feet/shoes, ice cubes, turning on the ps3, water bottles, scratching and pinching us. We haven't given her any solids yet. I think we'll start with mashed avocado sometime...soon?

And here is a video for proof (the "ball" and "I fell down" is just ~~coincidental babbling~~ my baby is a genius).

I Fell Down from beth white on Vimeo.

Shoes

2009-11-05T10:01:00.007-06:00

Don't you hate it when you find really cute, cheap shoes... but they are a 1/2 size too small, but you buy them anyway and hope your feet will magically fit into them after you leave the store or that they will stretch out eventually.

On the right, we have a brown maryjane... $4 at payless. I wore them for 10 min on Sunday before we left for church and got a blister... 10 MINUTES! Not too bad, since I only wasted $4.

And, on the left, we have a brown Coach sneaker... $80, originally $120 (this was in my frivolous spending days, ha!). I think I have worn these once and I've had them for 3 years.

These are my only brown shoes people!

The sneakers didn't feel too bad when I put them on for this picture, surprisingly! Maybe they knew I was thinking of donating them to goodwill for some lucky, lucky person with size 5.5 feet.

Children

2009-10-24T10:41:00.005-05:00

So, we don't believe in using contraception in any form for a number of reasons (unless you count breastfeeding). Aside from the health/abortifacient concerns of hormonal contaception, we believe G0d is sovereign over the womb and think He knows best how many children we should have. People say "God could still make me pregnant" well yes, but if you are taking precautions to ensure it doesn't happen, its similar to running in front of cars on a highway and saying "guess God wants me to die" or living recklessly and saying "guess God wanted this to happen". Thou salt not tempt the Lord thy God (Luke 4:12). Anyway.. not the point here.

The past couple months we have been going to a Messianic Jewish synagogue for a class (maybe I'll post about it later... it was interesting). The teacher/pastor/rabbi (?) also believes in leaving ones family size up to God and in talking about this with him he said (I'm using quotes loosely)

"I couldn't handle the thought of the children I was causing not to be born"

... to be not born, to not be born? I can't figure out what would be correct grammar in this sentence , you get what I'm saying. What a thought, huh? I would guess you can't find one person, who has adopted this way of thinking, that would be able to point out which of their children they wish God wouldn't have given them. Children are an eternal gift.

I've been up since 4 from tooth pain from a filling I had... ON MONDAY. forgive me.

Kansas Trip

2009-10-07T10:05:00.004-05:00

K, I'm done with controversial posts for a while.

Faith is rolling over ALL the time. The second I put her on her back she is trying to roll over. Oddly, she doesn't go from back to front too often. We also recently put some carpet down in our living room, its so nice to be able to lay her on the floor now! She is almost 5 months... I can't believe it! I took her to her 4 month "well baby check up" and she is 26 in tall and weighs 16 lbs... thats 95th percentile for both! The nurse said she was like an average 6 month old. Anyways... I think we are going to quit going to the check ups, she is healthy and probably more harm than good is being done... especially with flu season, I'd rather not expose her to illnesses. Plus, we only go to find out how much she weighs... but I found this awesome baby scale at the airmans attic, so problem solved!

And now, pictures from our Kansas trip. Edit: they are getting cut off on the right side... WHYYYY? I uploaded them from facebook.... weird. well click on them to see the whole thing I guess.

Visiting Aunt Michelle (my 19 year old sister) at college

The family

Aunt Michelle

Erin and Caden. See other picture further down the page for more info...

At Keeper of the Plains

My friend, Kelly, works at the zoo, she let us pet and feed the elephant!

My fav picture. Grandpa/my dad

Katie!! We have been best friends since kindergarten... no big deal

Aunt Karen

My best friend, Erin, had a boy baby... him and Faith have an arranged marriage. They are both excited, if you couldn't tell. She is 3 months older... quite the cougar.

Meeting Great Grandpa... he is 96! (this is my grandpa)

Grandma/my mom

Aunt Emily/my 17 year old sister... i think she is 17

At the church I grew up in

The Bible wasn't written in English.

2009-09-17T11:10:00.008-05:00

What?! The Bible wasn't written in English directly to the Americans?! This is brand new information!!

All quotes are from the book "Thy Rod and Thy Staff They Comfort Me"(it was available to read online, but has been removed in the few days since I posted this, unfortunately... but def. worth buying). I left in the number reference markers, so you can find where it came from in the book since I didn't list chapters for the quotes. and apparently in Europe spanking is called smacking. I'm not preaching to the people that spank, if thats what you want to do... but it just irks me when people (and I used to be one of them) say all Christians who want godly children must spank because its the only way and its biblical (not that any of you said that). I just really liked the book... thoughts?

"Now if some Jewish scholars, who do not have the New Testament as their Holy Scripture, are pointing out that the Biblical, post-Biblical and historical sources are vague concerning specific information about children and how ancient Hebrew society looked at them, how is that Christian ministers or Bible teachers can come along now and explain what the texts of the Hebrew Bible mean relative to children when individuals whose expertise far outstrips those of us in the Christian world are saying that they don’t have the answers to these questions?This is one question that those in the Christian world who advocate smacking children need to answer."

In the Hebrew Old Testament there are 11 different words that refer to different stages of life.... 11! “yeled,” “yonek,” “olel,” “gamul,” “taph,” elem,” “na’ar,” “bthulah,” “bachur,” “ish” and “ben.” (see link above... in the first chapter for explanation of these terms)

"The word that we find used in three of the verses that advocate smacking in Proverbs is “na’ar.”65 The phase of life associated with the “na’ar” (which means the “one shook lose”) is that of young adulthood or the teenage years. This is significant. Based on this evidence, it is safe to say that all of these texts in the book of Proverbs have no application to anyone less than about ten to twelve years of age."

"The other two verses66 often quoted by smacking advocates when referring specifically to the recipient of the corporal punishment both refer to the word “son.” In Hebrew, the word used is “ben.” This word is used hundreds of times in the Bible and can refer to a son of any age. In light of the use of this word, “son,” it makes sense, considering especially that we have three others texts that all refer to the use of the “rod,” that we let these three texts, which use the Hebrew word “na’ar,” be our primary sources of authority to understand who was the recipient of such corporal punishment. Obviously, we cannot let the two texts, which use the word “son” let us interpret the three texts, which use the more specific term “young adult” or “teenager.” All who are fathers refer to their teenage boys as their “sons,” but not all fathers’, who have sons, are teenagers. We have to let the more precise term young adult or teenager, which in Hebrew is “na’ar,” be our guide when applying these texts to individuals."

"It is not referring to “children” in the non- specific way. We have to be very careful in handling the information that we do have from this book because this information is sparse and terse. We also need to be very careful not to read things into the texts that are not there on the basis of an English translation. We have to let the original Hebrew words and their meanings come through into our understandings or else we can lose the richness of meaning that is there for the interested party to investigate. This advice must be especially heeded when it comes to such issues of immense social importance as how we bring up the next generation. For their sakes, we need to be right and protect them from teachings that are not directed at them in the first place."

"The texts says: “My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him; For whom the Lord loveth he

chasteneth, and scourgeth every son who he receiveth.”233 The first thing to understand about this passage is that it refers to

punishment, but does it refer specifically to punishment with a rod or specifically with any other instrument? No! Does this verse in the book of Hebrews refer back to any of the texts advocating smacking in the book of Proverbs?234 No! Is the word rendered “scourging,” which does refer to bodily punishment (and is used in that fashion in the New Testament235), ever used to describe actions taken against children? Not once. When the New Testament mentions the word “scourging” and refers it back to the Old Testament book of Proverbs, does the word in Hebrews always mean bodily punishment or can it mean other things?236 Yes, it can mean other things. In fact, when we look specifically at the context in Proverbs 3:11, we do not find the concept of “scourging,” by means of a physical beating, in the text at all. What we do find is that the Hebrew word “musar” has a broad meaning and it does not only refer to physical punishment."

"So, in conclusion, what do the data show? In no instance does the New Testament quote from any of the texts that are used to demonstrate that smacking is valid for today. There is no instance in any of the New Testament’s 27 books that specifically refers to a child receiving any bodily punishment. The evidence shows that the New Testament writers were quite familiar with the whole of the book of Proverbs and quoted from numerous sections of it, but wholly avoided any passage mentioning the rod. Because of these facts, anyone who seeks to advocate for the idea that smacking is a New Testament teaching is standing on shaky theological and Scriptural ground. This is the plain information we find in the Bible itself."

"... Proverbs 19:18. Let us look at it once again. “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” Once again, I

have italicised the word “crying” in the King James Version and it is this verse that, as I said previously, provides the justification for smacking proponents to strongly recommend that children who are spanked be brought to the state of crying with tears.

There is only one problem with this interpretation. It doesn’t hold up to even the most simple of examinations of the meaning of the Hebrew words. The translated “crying” in Proverbs 19:18 is the Hebrew word “mooth.” This word is used well over 500 times in the Hebrew Bible and is translated by about 40 different cognate words that all refer and are translated by words relating, without ambiguity or exception (except for this single verse we are here discussing) to the concept of death! Only in this verse did the King James Version translators render this word by the English word “crying.” This word has nothing even remotely related to crying that brings tears at all. What we have here is a very bad mistranslation.302 Modern Bible scholars recognize this fact almost universally.303 First, the Revised Standard Version, in reference to this verse says: “do not set your heart on his destruction.304 J. B Rotherman’s excellent translation renders it as follows: “Correct thy son, because there is hope, Yet not so as to slay him …”305 Finally, in the Interlinear Bible, we have the following: “Chasten your son while there is hope; and do not set your soul on making him die.”306 By correcting the translation, a whole different meaning to the verse arises. The feeling shifts away from harsh, legalistic judgment to one of moderation. It shows that there are actions that parents can and should take to correct

behaviour of a wayward child. [within the environment of the Law of Moses as pointed out before.] However, these actions should not be taken to extremes. This is clearly implied by the meaning of this verse. This verse could be argued to be against aggressive forms of punishment. When we look at this verse, the use of the word “hope” is most important. We get a strong indication that the latter portion of the

verse points to a situation where hope is now lost. This is certainly in evidence if an uncorrected life leads one down the path of crime, which in the Mosiac system could lead to the death penalty. This seems a much more clear interpretation based upon the context and it is this idea that most Christian authorities assign to this verse. Certainly, no parent would lose hope in a child due to his crying, but one certainly would find oneself in a hopeless situation if his or her child were moving down the path towards death.

Additionally, we find that while there are over 20 Hebrew words that relate to “crying out,” “crying aloud,” “to cry”, etc. not one of these words is found in the whole book of Proverbs

What we who are Christians today have to recognize is that we are no longer under the Law of Moses or any other law other than the Law of Christ. What is that Law of Christ? It is the Gospel of the grace of God. It is this grace, or unmerited favour, that is, a favour from God that we don’t deserve on the basis of our works, but He gives it to us through our attachment to and identification with Jesus Christ. Is it not this message that we, as Christians, wish to communicate to our children? The concept of the grace of God cannot be communicated to children accurately by administering a smacking. Smackings are given in environments of law, not grace. Let us look at an example of this in action in the life on one of the great Christian ministers of the last century.

Rev. Dwight Moody was one of the most famous of evangelists of the late 19th century. He was a Christian scholar who knew the difference between law and grace and he applied this difference in the way he raised his children. Rev. Moody grew up in a home dominated by law. “To these whippings (from his father) Mr. Moody always referred with great approval but with delightful inconsistency never adopted the same measure in the government of his own family. In his home grace was the ruling principal, not law, and the sorest punishment of a child was the sense that the father’s loving heart had been grieved by waywardness or folly.”338 Reverend Moody understood the simple difference between grace and law. He chose the clearly spelled out New Testament teaching that “you are severed from Christ, you who would be justified by law; you are fallen away from grace.”339

"the theological interpretation of a smacking is that it is a punishment for the violation of law. This law can be the law of the family, the law of

the city, the law of school or the law of the government. The Bible shows, however, that “you (who are Christians) are not under the law,” any law except that of the Spirit. What is the teaching or fruit of the Spirit? Love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.342 What part of a smacking brings forth the principle of Love? of joy? of peace!? of longsuffering? of kindness? of

goodness? of faithfulness? of gentleness? or of self control? The truth is there is no part of a smacking that brings forth any of these things. On the contrary, smacking is more acclimated to those concepts found in Galatians 5:19-21. Against these fruits of the Spirit there is no law343 and in an environment where they are taught and practiced there is no need for a smacking.341

"Unconventional Mom"

2009-08-31T16:17:00.002-05:00

Anyone remember the TV show Blossom? I caught a few episodes when I was little.... my mom didn't let us watching it though. :-) Anyways, she is an EC-ing, AP, homeschool mom now! You can see the video interview/article here. Apparently what she does is "somewhat controversial". lol

daycare

2009-08-18T15:41:00.003-05:00

I was in this store today and almost started crying... the saddest thing I've EVER heard...

womanA: are you happy school is starting?

womanB: YES!!!

womanA: oh... where is your baby?

womanB: in daycare where he belongs...

then they started talking about formula

I couldn't believe my ears. I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt, like oh thats sad she must have to put her baby in daycare so she can work because her husband died and they have 6 kids or something equally sad. but to hear that.. I don't even have any words!! And I'm constantly hearing how happy moms are that school is starting again. Why are we always viewing our children as huge burdens and something we need to escape? I'll tell you why... feminism and probably other things, gah.. I don't even want to talk about it.

I think I'll be sad the rest of the day now.

I read too much...

2009-08-11T14:45:00.002-05:00

So, the other day I was thinking "its time to learn something new". lol

I started reading about how bad sugar is for you... and just as I was figuring out this whole high altitude baking problem. Then about how much better it is to grind your own flour and drinking raw milk. ugh, I'm so overwhelmed, I want to do it all!!!

School Time!

2009-08-08T19:54:00.002-05:00

“Let it be remembered, that I do not speak to the wild, giddy, thoughtless world, but to those that fear God. I ask, then, for what end do you send you children to school? “Why, that they may be fit to live in the world.” In which world do you mean, — this or the next? Perhaps you thought of this world only; and had forgot that there is a world to come; yea, and one that will last for ever! Pray take this into your account, and send them to such masters as will keep it always before their eyes. Otherwise, to send them to school (permit me to speak plainly) is little better than sending them to the devil. At all events, then, send your boys, if you have any concern for their souls, not to any of the large public schools, (for they are nurseries of all manner of wickedness,) but private school, kept by some pious man, who endeavours to instruct a small number of children in religion and learning together.” - John Wesley (1703-1791)

Top 5 Reasons Not To Send Your Kids Back To Government Schools

Underground History of American Education

2009-08-07T16:51:00.002-05:00

Free Book Online

I checked this book out from the library and it is HUGE. I can't believe they put it all online!

Spankings

2009-07-23T13:29:00.003-05:00

I have been reading a ton on child (and baby) training recently and have come to the conculsion that its awful. At least conventional methods. Maybe I should keep my mouth shut since I don't have unruly toddlers running around, but there are some wonderful articles here (on spanking & discipline) and here (on the different baby training methods) written by Christians that do have older children and the gentle disciplining they write about seem to be working.

I read "To Train Up A Child"(TTUAC), you could read it online until just recently... something fishy is going on, all the links I post to free online books end up being removed from the internet. anyways, it is like $5 on amazon, but just reading the reviews should give you an idea. And Barnes and Noble has stopped carrying it... hmmmm Basically their answer to everything was "switchings" (for babies too, with a willow branch) and never use your hand on their bottom because it doesn't hurt the child and it can mess up their spine apparently. But, you can use a large tree branch, wooden spoon, a belt across the back of the legs; I believe is what was suggested. They back this up with biblical evidence of "God spanks us when we disobey", and of course those Proverbs on 'The Rod'. No, God doesn't give us the exact same physically painful consequence for every sin committed. I felt like the author made up a bunch of bologna... he said a rebellious teenage boy came to him and said that he wished his parents loved him enough to spank him... really?! And a small child telling his mother he loved her for spanking him. huh? The author gives examples of children that weren't spanked and how they are devil children compared to the kids that received switchings. All he says is that they weren't switched not that they also weren't disciplined, so readers believe children that aren't spanked are thus horrible and out of control.

Now, I wasn't spanked often (I only remember a few occasions, and thinking it was funny when it happened. I know.. I was awful) and my sisters and I grew up completely selfish and rebellious and disrespectful to our parents.... so you'd think I would be all for "switchings", but my parents (I love them dearly) just weren't consistent in their disciplining.

In TTUAC multiple times he uses animals as examples... "this is how the amish train their mules". So, that means this is how we should train our precious children?! He doesn't even try to hide the fact that this is nothing more than behavior modification psychology. They say if you are nursing and your baby bites you to pull the baby's hair. Poor baby never knew what was coming. Why not just remove baby from breast everytime he bites, he will figure it out, seems more logical right? You will get switched for: not playing with a toy you were given, crying, not being happy or joyful, not having unquestioned obedience to any adult/older child. Gee, you know... after I've had a bad day a good, long switching or solitary confinement always put me in a better mood! And, apparently fear is how you gain your child's respect. Think about the people you respect, seek advice from, trust and love... did they use a large tree branch on you to earn it? What happened to "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you"? That verse was never quoted in the book, I actually don't remember anything from Jesus being quoted.

I love this article: "I’ve read several articles that address the issue of spanking where the writer says it’s okay to spank if the child is in danger - for instance, if a toddler is running into the street, or reaching out to touch a hot burner on the stove. They suggest that at these times a few pops on the rear end are okay. I must admit this naïve mindset baffles me. Why in the world would we want to teach our children about safety by hurting them? Does you ski instructor jab you with his ski pole to teach you not to jump off the chairlift?

A parent who believes that spanking is the only effective way to teach a young child about safety issues is not giving the child enough credit. Children - even little ones - can indeed learn about safety through our teaching them. As a matter of fact, through teaching they will learn much more, as they can absorb the reason for the rule, and over time, can learn to make good decisions on their own. I watched two friends one summer teach their toddlers not to run in the street Mom A give her toddler a swat on the rear every time he went in to the street. Mom B picked up her toddler, looked him in the eye, and said, “NO street! Dangerous. Stay by Mommy.” By the end of the summer, both children learned to stay out of the street. Which child understood why? And which child has better communication with his mother?

Positive, respectful, consistent discipline is the real key to raising well-behaved children."

10 weeks old

2009-07-23T12:07:00.004-05:00

Faith is now 10 weeks old!! I love this picture of her (it was cold one day). At her 2 month check up she weighed 12.6 pounds, I think (it was confusing because the scale jumped to like 13 for a second and then went back to 12.6 and the nurse is like I think she is 13... I'm like whaaat?) and 23 inches. So that makes her 90th percentile for weight (but probably for being 13lbs) and 75th for height. And she still sleeps through the night... she nurses to sleep around 10-11 and will start making noises around 5am (some nights around 2 also) and I nurse her before she has a chance to wake herself up and then around 7 I wake up and take her to the potty (she has gone all night w/a dry diaper the past week! that isn't normal right?) then she goes back to sleep until 8:30 or 9. She sleeps most of the day (except in the evening) for 2 days, then the 3rd day she will be awake all day long.

And, the doctor was so impressed with her head control. He said that babies that are worn in slings, etc tend to have better head control & learn to walk faster :-). And, when I told him we were "delaying" vaccines he was like "that's cool." he did say his ultimate goal was to have her vaccinated, but he wasn't pushy or mean and didn't call CPS. lol

Laundry Without a Washing Machine

2009-07-07T11:54:00.006-05:00

I really just needed this for my own documentation, because once upon a time, I lost my mind. When we first moved here, we (I) didn't think a washer/dryer was necessary since it was just the 2 of us. So, this is how I did laundry for the first 4 months (before I got sick from being pregnant)... and now I'm using it for our cloth diapers because we are at a hotel due to kitchen remodeling. All can be obtained here

Fill this with clothes, water, and detergent... it actually holds a surprising amount of clothes.

Use the handle to spin it around for 30 sec-2 min depending on size of load.

empty the water with this tube thing, and repeat to rinse.

The "dryer"... this holds surprisingly little amounts of clothes (i have stuffed a pair of jeans in there before though), but takes much less effort than the "washer".

You have to make sure you fill it evenly or it will wobble all over your counter. Set the timer for 1-5 min, and they come out slightly damp.

As much as I hate the line-dry crunchiness (towels are the worst!)... it works. But, don't worry... we do have a washer & dryer now.

Living Within Your Means

2009-06-29T11:09:00.001-05:00

Why does everyone think the military pays you awful or that you can't live on what they pay you. We are reading Family Driven Faith right now and there is a story in it about this man who started having children when he was a captain in the military... and about how rough life was for them in the beginning because they had no money. A captain makes about $2,000 more A MONTH than what Michael makes. There is a commercial on tv for one of those Direct Buy showroom places with this woman who says "I know on military pay, I couldn't afford to buy top of the line..." and under her name it says "Colonel"... thats about $5,000 (probably more than that depending on how long she has been in) more A MONTH than what Michael makes. I went to this "New Parent Support" class (they give you a free gift bag, so I went. lol) and they encouraged everyone that qualified to enroll in WIC (a government program for families if the woman is pregnant or if their are young children in the home, you get formula & some essential food for free because you are poor...).

Now, you're probably thinking... poor Michael and Beth... they must be so poor & she doesn't even work & they have a baby, the military is so stingy. au contraire. The "base pay" may not be a lot (for us that is... those people mentioned above are just being ridiculous!), but we have NO BILLS.... we get free health insurance, free housing (kind of... we just never see the money we would be getting if we didn't live on base), tax free groceries, free baby clothes (via airmans attic... LOVE IT). This is what we spend our money on every month... groceries, car insurance, and internet. How do we do this, you ask... well, let me tell you. We don't use CREDIT cards, we don't take out loans for cars (and we didn't for school when we were going)... if we can't afford it with whats in the bank we don't need it (well, that would have to be something pretty expensive like a new car... which is ridiculous to buy anyways). We hardly ever go out to eat or buy premade meals (ok, frozen pizzas I do... lol). I can find PLENTY of great clothes at goodwill (for me at least, Michael not so much). Maybe its because I love thriftiness so much... I think I should have lived during the depression.

I just don't get it.... why can no one else "make it" in the military but we seem to be stockpiling money over here. What are people spending money on?! All the wives of Michael's superiors "have to work". When we first got here Michael had to go to a "First Term Airman" seminar and they had a finance person come & talk to all the new airmen about saving money and went over the finances with each person... the woman told Michael she had never seen an airman with so much money saved. SERIOUSLY? And, that was a year ago and I don't even work!!!

Even when I lived in Pennsylvania all alone and had to pay for my own apartment & electricity I still managed to save $2,000 by the time I came home (though I did have 2 jobs for the last few months and didn't have to pay for my health insurance). I don't know, I guess no one is teaching good money management and is instead trying to get them to sign up for credit cards to pay off their other credit cards.

K, thats my tangent about the military. I imagine its much harder in the "real world".

Oh, and I would like to thank Michael for teaching me saving money with nothing in mind to spend it on is fun, because right before I met him I almost overdrew my bank account (and that wouldn't have been the first time). Though, I think we are too stingy now and need to give some of it away.

4 weeks old!

2009-06-10T10:35:00.005-05:00

Well, 4 weeks tomorrow...

These are the birth announcements I made. I'm pretty proud of myself, they cost us a grand total of $15 (plus $35 postage!!!). We were looking at spending $100+ on the ready-made ones, but thanks to wal-mart and picnik, we didn't need to.

I don't know why, but I am in love with this picture. Cloth diapering is going swell. No problems, except I have to wash everyday it seems... small price to pay. Oh, and everything is really bulky on her (even just prefolds w/covers), so we can't button her onsies (see picture) and 98% of the time she doesn't wear pants because she only has 1 pair that look ok over her diaper, and I find it pointless having to take them off to change her anyways. But we like the sleep sacks.

Breastfeeding is going great too. We never had any problems, thankfully!

ECing (I love her modesty! lol). She has always peed as soon as we take her diaper off, so since day 1 we have made a "ssss" sound as she is going and the day she was 3 weeks I held her over the toilet like this and made the sound and she went. I don't know what her signs of needing to go are, so right now its just timing and guessing and usually she goes. but i have about 1-2 real "catches" (she still has clean diaper) a day. Today has been particularly good. I'm still not sure if she is just going because her diaper is off though. lol

I look gigantic in this picture. She was like 2 days old here. We co-sleep. Its a good time. lol. We had a pack n play given to us and it has a bassinet part in it, so we were going to use that as a solution to this because I wasn't sure how I would feel sleeping with her in the bed when she is so little. But, she would wake up & cry as soon as we moved her into it (ok, we only tried it the first night she was home, but now it serves as a diaper holder). Even in the hospital she wouldn't sleep in the plastic bassinet, so I held her all night, and then since the first night she was home she has slept in bed with us. And, since her first night home, she has slept through the night. Is that ridiculous?! I have to set my cell phone alarm to go off 4x a night so I can change her & sometimes she will wake up enough to eat... sometimes not & then I'm sorry in the morning. I wonder how long this sleeping will last. I love being able to nurse without having to get out of bed/stay awake though.

This thing lives up to its name. Its called a "Sleepy Wrap", unless she is real angry she could be in it all day. And within 10 minutes she is asleep. The only problem is if she is awake she won't let me sit down with her in it, so I have to be walking around. And, she likes her head to be hanging out of it, so I have to hold her head like that. You should see the looks I get from people when I'm out with her in it... "is there a baby in there?!". Usually her legs aren't hanging out the bottom though.

The first 2 weeks she slept like 20+ hours a day so that was so easy! But, now she is starting to be more awake during the day. When she is sleeping I just want to pick her up & play with her, but then when she is awake I just want her to go back to sleep. lol And, I always think of things I need to do when she is awake or fussy and when she is sleeping I just get on the computer. lol

She's here!!!

2009-05-17T10:51:00.003-05:00

Faith Adelia was born on May 14th, 2009 at 8:37pm. 7 lbs 13 oz, 20.6 inches long.

here is what I can remember... aka the birth story aka too much information.

on the 14th my friend Katie text me (we've been BFFs since kindergarten) and says she had a dream that I had the baby today, which I thought was really funny and I told her I would try real hard to have her. I had been doing some nipple stimulation for about an hour that morning to try to get things started. Around 9, I felt some leaking, it wasn't much and it stopped after like 5 seconds, so I was kind of confused since it didn't continue throughout the rest of the morning. My midwife happened to call about 30 min later to change our appointment time to an hour later since she was at the hospital with another patient, so I told her & she said it may have been my water breaking but there was no rush or concern since I wasn't even having contractions. About 10 I decided to start timing the braxton hicks contractions since they seemed to be coming more often, they were between 7 & 10 min apart and a little bit later they started feeling more like light menstrual cramps & more pressure on my back. Michael came home earlier than usual for his lunch because of some training thing he had to go to, so he went back to work at 11:45 (instead of 1), and I still had no idea I was having contractions since they were SO mild. About 12:30 they were steadily 5-6 min apart, so I decided to call the midwife's office since I had an appointment for a biophysical profile and didn't think that would be necessary since I may already be in labor, but I thought I would still come in to see my midwife and have her tell me if I was really in labor or not. So, the office person transfers me to her nurse and the nurse flips out and is like go to the hospital now. I'm like WHY? I'm hardly having contractions if thats what you call these!? lol (we had wanted to stay home and labor as long as possible, so going to the hospital at such an early stage seemed ridiculous!) She was really persistent, but since my midwife was already at the hospital it would basically be the same as going to the office, so we decided to go. I was absolutely convinced we wouldn't be staying at the hospital and that she would just tell us to go back home, I even told Michael we shouldn't even bring our stuff, but he thought we should just in case (he's so smart!). So we get to the hospital and my water had broken earlier, but since her head was so low it was blocking the rest of the water & had formed a water pocket at my cervix, so she broke that too around 2:30 I think (I was still only dilated 4 cm at this point), then nurses asking me tons of questions while Michael went to go get some food. Contractions started getting stronger around 3-3:30 about 4 min apart. I decided I was tired of feeling water leaking out of me every contraction, so I got in the tub, thinking it was a bad idea to get in the tub so early since it can slow down labor. It was SOOOO nice, it had jets... mmmm. I was probably in the tub about an hour, contractions were getting a lot stronger & a lot more painful on my back. They needed to listen to the babies heartbeat, but couldn't hear it with the waterproof doppler, so I had to get out, and decided to have her check me since I was already out of the tub and I was 7-8 cm. I was so shocked! I got back in the tub, this was apparently transition, but I had no idea, I just kept waiting for it to get worse & closer together, because the contractions were still 1.5-2 min apart, not right on top of each other like I expected. I started having 'pushy' contractions soon after. I really really loved in between the contractions- I don't think I've ever felt so relaxed in my life! The midwife and nurse kept laughing about the happy sighing sounds I was making between contractions. And all I kept saying was "i just want to sleep" lol. They checked me around 5 & I was 9 cm and having really pushy contractions so she moved the remaining cervix with a few contractions and I started really pushing at 5:30 in about every position in the book, but nothing felt very good and was a lot of pressure on my back. 2 hours later I asked how long I had been pushing... I couldn't believe how long it had been (thats how I'm estimating some of these times... I wasn't constantly checking the clock so I could write this accurately! haha). Pushing felt a lot better than not pushing though. Her head was out (OUCH) an hour later (after pushing for 3 hours now!), but her shoulders were stuck, which was really scary and the nurse calling for backup, but she came out. I kept repeating "I can't believe its over" and other strange things (including 'it feels like i have cotton vag... ya know, like cotton mouth' and 'wow my stomach is so small!' hahaha which I find hilarious now). I was bleeding A LOT apparently, so they ended up cutting her cord sooner than we would have liked & giving me an injection of pitocin (which I didn't realize until I saw the band aid on my hip the next day & having no idea where it came from!) to stop the bleeding and get the placenta out. And I had a 2nd degree tear, which isn't too bad. So basically she was born after 5ish hours of labor. I was expecting 12+ hours! And, I was never begging for an epidural, and I never said "I can't do this" (well, except when her shoulders were stuck and they were telling me to push)... which I really expected I would! lol Afterwards the nurse and midwife kept saying I had acted like I had an epidural!

We had to switch rooms 4 hours after she was born (at like midnight) since they were so busy on the L&D floor, so that wasn't very pleasant, but the postpartum rooms had more comfortable beds. She stayed awake-ish until 3 am! Sleeping that first night was awful, I hardly slept (I feel like I'm still not sleeping, but I'm not tired yet... lol). Then I woke up about 2:30 and the clock in our room was spinning backwards- like the minute hand was spinning backwards super fast, and I woke Michael up, saying that I was hallucinating, and made him look at it but by that time it stopped on 10:00 and kept on ticking like normal the rest of our stay (which ended 24 hours after she was born). All the nurses that came into the room were like... "Oh, your clock is wrong". I'm like yeah... it sure was scary watching it happen!

She is so precious!!! And has so much hair! I still can't believe that she was inside me, she is just so big! She makes the cutest noises too! And, I just got peed on, she was wearing a cloth diaper, but no cover, so it leaked out the side! awesome. lol

My stomach is the smallest its been since before Christmas and my boobs are 10x their normal size & feel like they are filled with rocks! lol

Romans 10:17, 1 Corinthians 2:5, Hebrew 11:1, Isaiah 32:8 (Adelia means noble)

Still pregnant

2009-05-12T11:21:00.003-05:00

Don't worry... I'm still pregnant! according to my original due date, I'm 41 weeks today. But.... since we used NFP to chart my cycles & help us get pregnant (and not get pregnant right after we got married, before mike left for basic training), I know when I ovulated... which should actually make my due date on the 8th (and I just realized the original due date was 2 days late anyways, it should have been the 3rd!! haha). This all occurred to me this morning. And, first time moms are on average 8 days past their due date, so that would be the 16th... lets shoot for that. So, hopefully I can get my midwife to change the due date because that would give me 3 extra days to go into labor on my own before they have to induce me. Oh and last Thursday I went in to have a "biophysical profile" done, which is an ultrasound and a non-stress test (they do it between 40 & 41 weeks) and I was 3-4 cm, 80% effaced and she is at 0 station... which is great, except that I'm still not in labor, so it really doesn't matter except that when I am in labor I won't be as worried about getting to the hospital and them telling me I'm only 2 cm after 10 hours of labor. lol But, if I do end up going 2 weeks over, she said all they would need to do is break my water and I would probably go into labor, which is good since we're trying to avoid drugs.

I'm due TOMORROW

2009-05-04T09:51:00.003-05:00

This was me last week... 39 weeks.

This is just one of the maternity pictures we had taken, they were a while ago though.

I really can't believe how close it is! I still don't expect it to ever happen, since for the past 9 months I've been thinking about how far away May was and now its here! I'm kind of freaking out and keep thinking of things I still need to do around the house. But, alas, here I am, not doing any of them.

I think she 'dropped' last week. I have a lot more pain in my tailbone & pubic bone. But I still sleep through the night without waking up to pee (well, last night I woke up like 5 times, it felt like she was clawing my cervix with her razor blade fingers... thanks baby!). I get braxton hicks contractions, but my uterus has been diligently exercising itself since 24 weeks, so thats nothing new. If I don't have the baby by Thursday then I go in for an ultrasound/non-stress test so I'm pretty excited about that even if it means I am still pregnant. I really don't feel 'that' pregnant. I'm not too uncomfortable, so she can stay in there as long as she wants as far as I'm concerned. lol Oh and... if you want to guess the birth date, weight, height- we have a game set up at www.expectnet.com the game name is babywhite9

We moved into our new house. It only took a week to completely unpack all the boxes & organize everything, so I'm glad thats all done. And they still haven't redone the counters (apparently they will be redoing the interior of the cabinets too, so we will have to take everything out of the kitchen), I call the housing company and they can't tell me anything except that they will call me when they get the shipment in. Sure am glad we went ahead and moved in when we did instead of waiting for the cabinets to be done... we would still be in our old house right now! I've stopped worrying about it and I will just tell them NO if they call wanting to do it anytime in the next month and a half.... its their own fault!

Well, now I've wasted an hour. I need to go do one of those projects on my list now.

Feminist Fantasies

2009-04-08T12:26:00.002-05:00

from Phyllis Schlafly's book- Feminist Fantasies, in a section called "Choosing a Career"

"Marriage and motherhood have their trials and tribulations, but what lifestyle doesn't? If you look upon your home as a cage, you will find yourself just as imprisoned in an office or a factory. The flight from the home is a flight from self, from responsibility, from the nature of woman, in pursuit of false hopes and fading fantasies.

If you complain about servitude to a husband, servitude to a boss will be more intolerable. Everyone in the world has a boss of some kind. It is easier for most women to achieve a harmonious working relationship with a husband than with a foreman, supervisor, or office manager.

That American women have always been fortunate (as opposed to oppressed as feminists would have us believe) was confirmed more than 150 years ago by the famous French commentator Alexis de Tocqueville: "Although the women of the United States are confined within the narrow circle of domestic life, and their situation is in some respects one of extreme dependence, I have nowhere seen woman occupying a loftier position; and if I were asked, now that I am drawing to the close of this work, in which I have spoken of so many important things done by the Americans, to what singular prosperity and growing strength of that people ought mainly to be attributed, I should reply: to the superiority of their women"

MOVING!

2009-04-08T11:57:00.004-05:00

I have been meaning to update for a while because so many things have been going on! And, then I come into our computer room, and the USB thing that connects the memory card for our camera to the computer has been packed!!! grrr... so, no pictures.

We are moving! One block away, literally. The housing company on base said that our house would probably be remodeled in August. Turns out they are ahead of schedule. So, 2 weeks ago we got this notice saying we had 30 days to move, we go to the housing office and they say it won't actually be until late May/early June. I'm like uhh... no! Moving with a newborn?? I think not. So, thankfully, there was a house available sooner and we are moving this weekend. We got the keys today (we had already seen the inside a week and a half ago because there were no doorknobs on any of the outside doors... so we "broke" in) and the whole house must have been painted like yesterday, it smells horrible!

I have been slowly packing our house for 2 weeks, so it hasn't been overwhelming. I hate being pregnant and not able to lift heavy things! Though, I have successfully disassembled a twin size fully wooden bed and our 8 foot dining room table by myself!

The house is nice though, the master bed & basement are much bigger, it has nicer bathrooms, and a fireplace and a garage... with a garage door opener! Oh, but we will be having to move out around the 20th of this month for a few days while they re-do the kitchen counter tops (apparently the shipment was delayed)... hmmm great. Anyone know if I should take everything out of the cabinets while this is happening? I don't want everything covered in dust!

I'm also excited about having a new address, people don't understand our address now which is 4518E E. streetname (thats right 2 'E's)... and then to live in a 'city' that is an acronym including the similar sounding letters of S & F. Now we will be at 4501A W. street name... less confusing I hope.

I'm 36 weeks now! 27 days left hopefully (and not 41 days!).

I'll have pictures after we unpack.

Compulsory Schooling

2009-03-13T15:20:00.004-05:00

I recently read John Taylor Gatto's "Dumbing Us Down: The Hidden Curriculum of Compulsory Schooling". The author taught in NY public schools for 30 years. The first chapter titled The Seven Lesson Schoolteacher, is a speech he gave upon being named "New York State Teacher of the Year". He goes on to explain how he and all teachers teach confusion, class position, indifference, emotional & intellectual dependency, provisional self-esteem, and that one can't hide. This guy is gutsy!

"...there are some studies that suggest literacy at the time of the American Revolution, at least for non-slaves on the Eastern seaboard was close to total...pick up a 1850 5th grade math or rhetoric textbook and you'll see the texts were pitched on what would today be consider college level. The continuing cry for basic skills practice is a smoke screen behind which schools preempt the time of children for twelve years and teach them the seven lessons I've just described to you." p 12

"Schools take our children away from any possibility of an active role in community life- in fact, it destroys communities by relegating the training of children to the hands of certified experts- and by so doing it ensures our children cannot grow up fully human. Aristotle taught that without a fully active role in community life one could not hope to become a fully healthy human being... look around next time you are near a school or old people's reservation if you wish a demonstration." p 13

"... without the exploiting the fearfulness, selfishness, and inexperience of children, our schools could not survive at all... No common school that actually dared to teach the use of critical thinking tools would last very long before being torn to pieces." p 17

"the method of mass schooling is its only real content. Don't be fooled into thinking that good curriculum or good equipment or good teachers are the critical determinants of your son's or daughter's education. School is a 12 year jail sentence where bad habits are the only curriculum truly learned." p 19

"Schooles are inteded to produce, through the application of formulas, formulaic human beings whose behavior can be predicted and controlled. Well-schooled people are irrelevant... as human beings they are useless. Useless to others and useless to themselves" p 23. sheesh!

"It is absurd and anti-life to be part of a system that compels you to sit in confinement with people of exactly the same age and social class. That system effectively cuts you off from the immense diversity of life and the synergy of variety; indeed, it cuts you off from you own past and future, sealing you in a continuous present. It is absurd and anti-life to move from cell to cell at the sound of a gong for every day of your natural youth in an institution that allows no privacy and even follows you into the sancurary of your home, demanding that you do its 'homework'." p 24

"Think of the phenomena which are killing us as a nation: narcotic drugs, brainless competition, recreational sex, the pornography of violence, gambling, and alcohol- and the worst pornography of all: lives devoted to buying things, accumulation as a philosophy. All off these are addictions of dependent personalities, and this is what our brand of schooling must inevitably produce." p 26

On the "victories" of women's rights "The predicament of women is a bit trickier to see, but if sharply accelerated rates of suicide, heart disease, emotional illness, sterility, and other pathological conditions are an indicator, the admission of women en masse to the unisex workplace is not an unmixed blessing. Further, some disturbing evidence exists that the income of working couples in 1990 has only slightly more purchasing power than the income of the average working man in 1910. In effect two laborers are now being purchased for the price of one... And an unseen social cost of all of this has been the destruction of family life, the loss of home as sanctuary or haven, and the bewilderment of children who, since infancy, have been raised by strangers."

"Teaching must, I think, be decertified as quickly as possible. That certified teaching experts like me are deemed necessary to make learning happen is a fraud and a scam." p 93.

It was a really great book (and less than 100 pages)! And shocking that it isn't even written from a Christian perspective and yet he still sees all of the problems & dangers! There are also quite a few youtube videos of John Taylor Gatto if anyone is interested.

Picture update coming soon... probably.

Vaccinations

2009-02-22T15:54:00.004-06:00

Michael and I went to a seminar on vaccinations this past week. We had already decided prior to this not to vaccinate, but we still learned a lot. Here are some highlights:

By the time a child is 6 months old they are suggested to be injected with 25 vaccines, and 32 by 1 year.
Study conducted by Christchurch Health and Development of 1265 children... immunized 23% had asthma, 30% had other allergic illnesses. non-immunized 0% had asthma or other allergic illnesses.
Study by McKeever, Lewis, Smith- children vaccinated with DPPT (or MMR) had 14 times more asthma and 9.4 times eczema than non-vaccinated.
US Food and Drug Administration- "Doctors underreport adverse vaccine reactions by 90%"
By Dec 2002 (12 years after inception) VAERS (vaccine adverse effects reporting system) received 244,424 reports of possible reactions to vaccines- 99,145 ER visits, 5,149 life threatening reactions, 27,925 hospitalizations, 5,775 disabilities, and 5,309 deaths
Incidence of pertussis (the P in DPT) is at a much higher rate now than before the introduction of the vaccine.
80% cases of measles are contracted by vaccinated people.
All deaths in 2000 from whooping cough were infants under 4 months.
Rubella is so mild it is often mistaken for a cold.
Hep B (usually given before leaving the hospital after birth)- the only way to contract is through IV drug use, sex, & if the mother has it. "The risk of a serious vaccine reaction may be 100x greater than the risk of hepatitis B...asthma and diabetes, autism and ADD/ADHD disorders have increased greatly since the introduction of many new vaccines.." Jane Orient, MD, Executive Director Assoc. of American Physicians and Surgeons.
Hib Vaccine linked to increase incidence of type 1 diabetes. Hib infections increased 4 fold after introduction of vaccine.
Tetanus associated with improper wound cleaning, malnutrition, and a weak immune system. Decreased 92% from mid 1850- early 1900 (before the vaccine was introduced). Today it occurs most in those over 50.
Polio was on a rapid decline when the vaccine was introduced. The epidemic also ended in Europe where the polio vaccine was not extensively used.
Meningitis outbreak in Brazil linked to MMR vaccination 3 weeks after 'National Vaccination Day' - American Journal of Epidemiology
No adequate studies to determine long term effects of vaccines.
Average time for monitoring safety of a vaccine in studies & testing is 4 days.
In '75 Japan raised the minimum age of vaccination from 2 months to 2 years. Crib death, infantile seizures, meningitis, and other infectious diseases in infants virtually disappeared. But, seriously infectious diseases such as meningitis sharply increased in 2 year olds. And, since '88 parents have been given the option to vaccinate their infants- SIDS has quadrupled.
In vaccines: formaldehyde (or formalin- 50 studies have shown link between exposure and leukemia, brain, colon, and lymphatic cancer), mercury (or thimerasol, symptoms of mercury toxicity resemble those of autism), aluminum, phenol, borax, ethylene, glycol (antifreeze), dye, acetone, latex, MSG, glycerol, sorbitol... monkey, cow, chick, pig, sheep, and dog tissues & cells, gelatin, casein, human fetus cells, human viruses, antibiotics, genetically modified yeast, animal/bacterial/viral DNA.
Allowing children to be sick helps boost immunity.
History of infectious diseases associated with decrease cancer risk.
Diseases contracted naturally are filtered through series of immune system defenses, but vaccine virus & chemicals are injected directly into the blood stream- with access to all major tissues & organs of the body without the normal advantage of a total immune response.
62 studies from 30 worldwide labs link polio vaccine to brain tumors, bone cancers, lung lining cancers and leukemia. The rates of these have increased dramatically in the last 30 years - American Assoc for Cancer Research.
Childhood cancers are increasing at 1% per year (since '74). 35% rise in pediatric brain cancer between '73 & '94.
The number of 2-4 year olds taking psychiatric drugs like Ritalin & Prozac jumped 50% between '91 & '95.
in the 70s one in 10,000 births were autistic. in the 80s one in 500. in the 90s one in 100.
Rate of autism among the Amish is almost non-existent.
Juvenile Diabetes increased 300% from '62-'76 with no official explanation.
"As well consult a butcher on the value of vegetarianism as a doctor on the worth of vaccination"- George Bernard Shaw (I thought this was funny)

*I have been told the trustworthiness of some of these studies are questionable... so I don't want to spread misinformation. Do your own research & know the companies supporting the study. *I've heard* that a lot of the "vaccines are safe" studies are sponsored or supported in some form by pharmaceutical companies or "co-sleeping is unsafe" studies sponsored by furniture manufacturers.

Calvin & Headcovering

2009-02-21T10:06:00.002-06:00

John Calvin (1509-1564).

“So if women are thus permitted to have their heads uncovered and to show their hair, they will eventually be allowed to expose their entire breasts, and they will come to make their exhibitions as if it were a tavern show; they will become so brazen that modesty and shame will be no more; in short they will forget the duty of nature…Further, we know that the world takes everything to its own advantage. So, if one has liberty in lesser things, why not do the same with this the same way as with that? And in making such comparisons they will make such a mess that there will be utter chaos. So, when it is permissible for the women to uncover their heads, one will say, ‘Well, what harm in uncovering the stomach also?’ And then after that one will plead [for] something else; ‘Now if the women go bareheaded, why not also [bare] this and [bare] that?’ Then the men, for their part, will break loose too. In short, there will be no decency left, unless people contain themselves and respect what is proper and fitting, so as not to go headlong overboard” (Sermon on 1 Cor 11:2-3 in Men, Women and Order in the Church, trans Seth Skolnitsky, Presbyterian Heritage Publications, pp.12-13).

“St Paul now continues with the subject which he had begun: namely, that women must have the decency not to come to the public assembly with their heads uncovered; and that men must also be decently attired so that there be no beastly confusion. To confirm it, however, he adds a further reason. ‘Does not nature itself teach that if a woman have no head-covering, it is a shame to her?’ he says. One would surely say that a woman was mad, if she came without hair. When he says ‘her hair is for a covering,’ he does not mean that as long as a woman has hair, that should be enough for her. He rather teaches that our Lord is giving a directive that he desires to have observed and maintained. If a woman has long hair, this is equivalent to saying to her, ‘Use your head-covering, use your hat, use your hood; do not expose yourself in that way! Why? Even if you have no head-covering, nor hood, yet you also have something to conceal yourself. You see that it would not be fitting to go bare-headed; that is something against nature.’ This is how this passage of St. Paul’s must be understood” (Sermon on 1 Cor 11:11-16, op. cit. pp. 52-53).

“4….Prophesying I take here to mean — declaring the mysteries of God for the edification of the hearers, (as afterwards in 1 Corinthians 14,) as praying means preparing a form of prayer, and taking the lead, as it were, of all the people — which is the part of the public teacher, for Paul is not arguing here as to every kind of prayer, but as to solemn prayer in public… 5. Every woman praying or prophesying… Here we have the second proposition — that women ought to have their heads covered when they pray or prophesy; otherwise they dishonour their head. For as the man honours his head by showing his liberty, so the woman, by showing her subjection. Hence, on the other hand, if the woman uncovers her head, she shakes off subjection — involving contempt of her husband. It may seem, however, to be superfluous for Paul to forbid the woman to prophesy with her head uncovered, while elsewhere he wholly prohibits women from speaking in the Church. (1 Timothy 2:12.). It would not, therefore, be allowable for them to prophecy even with a covering upon her head, and hence it follows that it is to no purpose that he here argues as to a covering. It may be replied, that the Apostle, by condemning the one, does not commend the other. For when he reproves them for prophesying with their head uncovered, he at the same time does not give them permission to prophesy in some other way, but rather delays his condemnation of that vice to another passage, namely in chapter xiv.” (Calvin, Commentary on 1 Cor. 11:4-5).

Child Training

2009-02-17T19:20:00.002-06:00

I feel like its been a while since I updated...

I've been doing SO much research on parenting and child training lately, I need to organize my thoughts. Michael basically puts me in charge of deciding & researching things like this, and I just end up really confused. I borrowed the book "Preparation for Parenting" by Gary Ezzo; author of the more popular title "Babywise", from a woman at our church. I guess I had already formed an opinion by hearing too many negatives (and going to this website). But, the program seems to be really popular among Christian parents. And, all the people I've known who used it have really well behaved/mannered children (teenagers too!). But... some things that bothered me are the fact that Mr. Ezzo has no medical/pediatric background (his wife was a nurse though) and he was excommunicated from the church he started the program at. He has 2 daughters. And, if I'm remembering correctly, conducted all of his studies himself (I don't remember reading any independent research studies in the book). Throughout the chapters on feeding, he mentions multiple times that its not breastfeeding vs. formula feeding that matters, its the manner in which the feeding takes place. Which doesn't sit well with me or the American Academy of Pediatrics. I've read of numerous incidence of low milk supply, failure to thrive, etc... due to the scheduling (though, he does say if baby is showing signs of hunger then feed him). Plus, he is all about sleeping through the night by like 12 weeks, I doubt that would be profitable for milk supply. He also says breastfeeding past 1 year has no basis in health but is a personal preference. And, since we have to train baby to 'self-soothe' to get him sleeping through the night, I wonder if baby would even try to communicate hunger (or anything else) to mom if he is used to not getting his needs met (its like negative reinforcement of the cues baby is sending mom, thus he would stop sending them?). I think there is a reason why God gave us emotional reactions and instincts to baby's crying. But, I do like the idea of having uninterrupted sleep & being able to schedule the day by knowing what baby would be doing at that time. And, I do think, to some extent, the schedule would be comforting to baby (by having a routine).

And, a little side note, because I think its really interesting... women will keep producing milk until the baby stops nursing (like years & years). If God didn't intend women to keep nursing until the baby didn't need it anymore, wouldn't he make it so we stopped lactating 12 months after birth?

On the other side of the coin, is Dr. Sears (the "father of attachment parenting").. a Harvard graduate Pediatrician (for 30 years I think?), father of 8... he is also a Christian. I read a quote from him in the LLL book that said the healthiest kids in his practice were breastfed in terms of years. I can only think of one family that has older kids that did a lot of the AP things (like baby wearing, child-led weaning, co-sleeping). But most things that I read (haha, ok everything!) are pro-AP, so there is probably a lot of bias. But, AP just seems like common sense to me... you know, follow your instincts. There is a book called "How Would Jesus Raise Your Child".... I haven't read it, but I just think its interesting to think about (especially with the whole spanking issue, which I'm still unsure of...). But, when I think about it... do I really want to deal with the possible results of a lot of the AP things (like interrupted sleep, having a child unable to sleep in his own room or nursing a 4 year old [lol, I think I read average age for child-led was like 2 or 2.5]). I guess there just needs to be a balance and we will just have to wait and see what our baby is like.

I don't even want to post this, because I feel like I'm totally bashing non-AP... but I'm not. And I've wasted like an hour if I don't post this (I think I'm wasting an hour even if I do...). And, I'm sick of sitting here and need to get off the computer!

Ohhh... but, Michael and I watched this video from the website Christian Monotheism. Its about the Trinity. I don't know if its really interesting or really questionable. So now we are studying up on the trinity and biblical unitarianism....

Ultrasound

2009-02-04T13:53:00.002-06:00

Yesterday I had another ultrasound. It was 3d, and really cool! (I know the effects of high-power 3d ultrasounds havent been tested, but it was free & I'm selfish & want to see my baby in real-time). The ultrasound tech said she had really long fingers/toes/neck- so maybe she will be a ballerina and/or pianist!! :-) So here are some pictures

her face, it was either completely buried, or partially buried like this, the whole time.

arm/hand/elbow

back of her head/shoulder

face again

little toesies!!! foot/leg/knee

Update

2009-01-27T12:13:00.004-06:00

Me, today, at 26 weeks. ignore my face.

This wrap skirt took about 3 hours to make and was really easy. The pattern is from this book

This picture is dark, but you can see how it fits & the length

Current status of the cross-stitch... not even halfway done. (some of it is getting cut off here)

I have another ultrasound, a week from today. I can hardly wait! And we start our Bradley Childbirth class next Monday!

My belly button is looking like a corn kernel in a shallow crater (I had an innie/outtie, so its basically disappearing). And I get braxton-hicks contractions a lot if I: sit down for too long, stand up for too long, don't drink enough water, or don't pee like every hour or 2.

Yesterday, this conversation happened:

Michael: how are you cleaning the bathtub?

me: uhh... I don't clean it.

Michael: ok, well, its gross now.

me: yeah, I used to clean it and it never got any better, so I stopped.

me: how are you supposed to clean a bathtub?

Michael: with ajax or something.

So, that is pretty sad. I do clean the bathrooms, I just hate cleaning the tub. We have seperate bathrooms (kind of, I have my stuff in both though) so I never use that shower. But, today I cleaned it, after I found some bathroom cleaner I didn't even know I had, and it looks 100% better. And I made some liquid dish soap! And found out there is a leak under our kitchen sink.

Bread Recipes

2009-01-23T11:18:00.004-06:00

I need a good whole grain bread recipe. I have one, but its turns out kind of crumbly & hard to slice small pieces (I'll post it if anyone wants it though)... maybe I need to decrease the flour a little or something? And, I don't have a bread maker. But I'll take any recipes anyone has.... it doesn't even have to be whole grain/wheat. Just something good... anyone?

*and its cutting off half my picture now... I don't understand! Why can't you be a small picture???

I love my husband

2009-01-21T13:59:00.003-06:00

I thought, for fun, I'd put some pictures on here... because I love my Mikey. He is such a wonderful husband.

This was around when we first met, Oct 2006. He had long hair. hehe

In the wal-mart he worked at, in electronics, where we met. I think this was right around the time we got engaged, march 2007. He cut his hair.

One of our engagement pictures

Our Wedding... Nov. 2007

Honeymoon in Rome

After his basic training graduation, Feb 2008

Sewing & Cross-Stitching

2009-01-18T18:01:00.006-06:00

This is the first cross-stitch I've ever done. Its a "Julia Ann Sampler". A 13 year old girl made the pattern in 1819. It's on 29 count linen & has this in the center & various trees & houses on the side. I got the kit for $2 at a garage sale! I've been working on it since the beginning of the month... the other day it took me 30 minutes just doing the cursive M & half the N.

I made this dress the past week. Its a nursing/maternity dress called "Catherine's Choice" from bakerlane.com. The material is kind of an olive green floral velour-ish (ok, I don't know my fabrics too well) ... not cheetah print as it appears in this picture. I've never made anything, except quilt blocks, without the help of my mom, so I was a little scared. I only had one mishap and I fixed it, so I feel quite accomplished now. It would have only taken 3 days to make, but I ran out of thread and I had to wait to go to fabric store.

And, whilst at the fabric store, they had simplicity patterns for $1 each! So I got some baby patterns, including that super cute one!

Yesterday, Michael and I went to Babies R Us to register and they were SO busy, they had a waiting list for registry scanners! So we just looked around & made one online, but I don't know how easy people will be able to find the things that I registered for online in stores since not all stores have the same things. Babies R Us online didn't even having diaper pins... I searched "diaper pins" and it says "did you mean diapers pink?". So, in short, amazon registry is much more fun because amazon has everything! Unfortunately, not everyone wants to order from amazon so I have to make a babies r us registry too.

We also found this in our cul de sac parking lot- thrown away by one of our neighbors, to be picked up by the trashman. Our neighbors are always throwing usable things away, like our coffee table, for instance, was out in the parking lot to be thrown away & there was once a whole living room set out there (we just took a chair & ottoman from it though). When the trash came that time, I caught a video of it chopping up the furniture... I wonder if I can find it.. it was crazy!

MMM Smoothie

2009-01-14T15:15:00.002-06:00

Since I'm pregnant, I try to eat healthy & get all the nutrients I need (without eating too many poptarts...), which is hard since I tend to forget to eat in between meals. But yesterday I made the most amazing smoothie! Its really easy & really healthy!

1/4 package of silken (soft) tofu

2 whole bananas

1 to 2 cups frozen strawberries (I didn't measure, I had like half a bag left & threw them all in)

3.5 slices of pineapple (I used canned, you know, the pineapple rings)

& some of the pineapple juice

thats all! no ice to crush, its plenty thick too! no sugar, no ice cream or yogurt (though yogurt would be healthy too)

You can't taste the tofu at all. I kept making smoothies before & putting plain yogurt & tofu in it, and it tasted gross so I'd have to add 1T sugar to every glass... I thought it was the tofu, but it was the yogurt! So, probably vanilla yogurt (or any flavored yogurt) would solve that problem.

I wear skirts quite a bit because I feel more feminine when I do, and when I don't I had 1 pair of jeans I wore all the time since they are so comfy. I went through my clothes the other day & found 2 pairs of pants that I haven't been able to wear in like 2 years! Now, I can't button them, but the legs fit so well (which is why I had to stop wearing them 2 years ago, cuz my legs were fat)

Pretty sure the reason I couldn't wear those pants 2 years ago is because at that time I worked at Panera 5 days a week from 5am-1pm & ate many meals there (employees got an awesome discount!). Then I would go from work, home for 3 hours & nap, then go to ballet class at night & get home at like 8, and Michael worked close to my apartment when we were dating & so he got off at like 10 and he'd come over & I'd fall asleep & have to get up at 4 the next morning! So, lack of sleep, bad diet, stress... hmm, but that only lasted a few months, then I quit ballet & started another job as a waitress on top of my panera hours & took 9 hours online college classes. & I rarely ate breakfast. I was so unhealthy... glad that whole part of my life is over! And, this is a really pointless entry now...

23 weeks

2009-01-07T17:21:00.004-06:00

This is me today, at 23 weeks! Is this picture kind of big? I think it is, and I clicked "small", oh well.

Today I kind of rough-drafted my birth plan for fun and since we have to have the birth in a hospital birth center, I feel I need to be as prepared as possible. I also plan to labor at home as long as possible. Here are some highlights (lol)

freedom to change positions, walk, go to the bathroom, do yoga, or labor in the tub as long as possible
No IV & limited electronic fetal monitoring & vaginal exams
freedom to be in any position, including off the bed, during 2nd stage of labor
prefer to tear rather than have an episiotomy
don't offer pain medication
freedom to wear my own clothes (... maybe)
no eye ointment, vit k, or hep b
defer PKU test for 2 days to establish breastfeeding for more accurate results
B/F immediately after birth
no bottles, pacifiers, water or formula
delay cord cutting for at least 2 hours or not at all (haven't decided about this 'lotus birth' thing)
no bathing of baby... will rub in vernix
Baby is to ALWAYS be accompanied by myself or Michael when not in my room.

We went on a tour of the hospital on Sunday, it was nice... everything is brand new (they just built the hospital in 2007). The only thing really 'hospitalish' about the rooms are the beds (so narrow!), they had tv/dvd player/cd player in all the rooms & a jacuzzi tub in most of the bathrooms, and you can adjust the temp/lights. I had a breakdown about a week ago over how I didn't want to go to the hospital to have the baby... but I think it will be ok. Its better than the alternatives- either drive an hour away to a free-standing birth center the last 2 months of pregnancy for prenatals, the last month being an appointment every week which michael wouldn't be able to take off work for, so I'd have to drive by myself! Or pay a homebirth midwife out of pocket, like $2,000, which we can't justify (since our insurance pays 100% for the midwife in the hospital). I'm just worried one thing will go wrong & then everything will crumble to the ground... maybe I shouldn't have such high expectations. I should probably prepare myself for when something doesn't go the way I want it to...

I'm going to try to stop eating sugar... or at least I'm going to think about it and stop once the baby is born. lol. I just really don't want to be feeding my kids sugar! And its so bad for you, but I just love it so much, its hard. :-) And I just bought 4 bags (1lb each) of sour patch kids from the store bec. they were on sale from christmas- 64cents a bag!!! Who could resist such a deal? lol

I love amazon so much!! I have a baby registry on there, its fun. Its amazing to me how stores convinces us of how much stuff we need for a baby, when actually you don't need very much at all! Its pretty crazy how much stuff we have cut off our "things to buy for baby" list, like a crib and changing table... well thats actually all I can think of, but those are pretty major necessities to most people, and pretty expensive, and take up a lot of space!

Headcovering?

2009-01-03T00:51:00.003-06:00

So, I have been studying the biblical headcovering (as mentioned in 1 cor 11) for a while now. I even covered... for about a week, a few months ago. Then I got lazy and quit doing it. I don't know anyone who covers... no one at our church does, nor any church I have ever been to, for that matter. The reason I started studying it was because I knew the Amish covered, and I have always been very intrigued by their lifestyle & dress... and knew their had to be a reason they did it. Then I read this book (which you can download for free) and was pretty convinced. Michael is neutral on the subject... so I don't know. Its confusing, but I think I'm just making it confusing because I don't want to do it, but feel like I should be... you know :-/. If for no other reason, I like it as a reminder that my husband is the head of me (and thus a reminder of my submission to him, which is hard to remember sometimes...) & God has put me under his protection. The scripture says the glory of man is the woman and the man is the glory of Christ... man should cover his glory to give full glory to Christ. And, I see "hair is given for her as a covering" but earlier in the passage it says "it is a shame for a man to pray with his head covered"... so a man should make sure he has no hair covering his head? Not unless it means an actual covering/veil... or some people argue long hair. It is also unsettling how it was a universal practice until recent decades. hmm...

Anyways, I ordered some from garlandsofgrace.com because they have really pretty ones that are convertible to headbands, so we'll see.

Christmas Rant

2008-12-19T09:09:00.004-06:00

When Michael and I were engaged the topic of holiday traditions came up... and he said that we didn't need to have a Christmas tree, which basically turned into this huge argument about me needing to have a Christmas tree and him saying that it was stupid and no one even knows why they put up a tree besides that its tradition. Now I couldn't agree with him more. My family always has a tree (and still puts it up, even if they wait until Christmas Eve to put it up & Valentines Day to take it down..). What is the significance of the tree anyways?

We either buy a fake one & have to store it for 11 months a year or buy a fresh one every year. We decorate it... who knows why?

We give presents to it... ok, ok, under it.

Put it in the most visible place of the house.

Sing songs to it... does anyone know "Oh, Christmas Tree"?

Did you know the pilgrims weren't allowed to celebrate Christmas or Easter, because it isn't commanded in scripture (man made tradition is not looked upon highly in scripture). It wasn't even a national holiday until late 1800. Sure, remembering Christ's birth is good intentioned, but why do we remember it with a Christmas tree & presents & santa clause (at least Catholics go to mass on Christmas day!). I'm sick of commercials on tv talking about the economy and this year we need to make sure every child has a toy for Christmas... it just rubs me the wrong way I guess. I won't even start on the origins of Christmas (and Easter too!!). I think some of my strong opinions on this come from my childhood- being raise in a Christian home, but on Christmas it really was just about the presents (and we got A LOT of presents!!!). Everyone is out to make a profit... Christmas tree farms, ornaments, outdoor Christmas lights, stores, stores, stores... if there is anything they convince the general population of needing to make Christmas better, they'll buy it. Because who doesn't want the best? And those that can't afford it, or can't afford a lot of gifts for their children are made to feel inadequate so then they get credit cards to pay for it!! materialism is rampant.

Even if you don't agree with me, just question why you do things... anything. So that if you decide to continue doing them, at least if someone asks you 'why?', you will have an answer. Like, why do we use shampoo and conditioner and face wash?? because we are told we need it, which we don't... my hair is looking great after 2 weeks (I think thats how longs its been...) washing every couple days with 1T b.s. & 1T apple cider vinegar. And, my face looks better just rinsing with water than it did when I used proactiv!

Why do we go to the hospital to have babies? Bec. we are told we our bodies need help & we need to be relieved of the "pain" (I put that in quotes bec. pain means something is wrong... labor is not wrong) because our bodies aren't able to do what they were made by God to do... hmmmm. Now I understand sometimes (most of the time not) emergencies happen & things can go wrong so it is a good thing that we have such advanced medical science so that a baby can be born at 6 months gestation & still survive.

Ok, I'm done, I got way off track I think...

It's a GIRL

2008-12-10T11:56:00.004-06:00

We are having a girl!!! ssssooooo excited. Here are some picture from the ultrasound... we even got to have a 3d one (and we will have another one at 28 weeks) because the office where the midwife is at has the machine! And its free!! yea!!! And we have no idea about names yet- we could only decide on boys names, so I'm excited to go name hunting again! And I'm excited to start getting some clothes!!!

I spend too much time on here... seriously. Especially today because I have to post pictures everywhere! Send emails to our families, facebook, myspace, blogger... its ridiculous. Then I get side tracked and start learning about something new and next thing I know its 3 hours later! Well, I'll just turn my ADD into something positive- today I learned about:
no 'poo-ing (http://babyslime.livejournal.com/174054.html), elimination communication (or infant potty training), & http://www.thebabywearer.com

And, I started no poo! I didn't shampoo that often anyways- like 2x a week, because especially since I've been pregnant- it doesn't get oily. So, today I just washed with water & let it air dry (and when I air dry I don't brush it, bec. its wavy if I leave it alone)... I'll keep you updated on how it is going, but I'm hopeful.

19 weeks

2008-12-08T09:57:00.007-06:00

Tomorrow is 19 weeks!!! Almost half way, I can hardly believe it. Its going by so fast. This picture was from 18 weeks though. Tomorrow we have an ultrasound and will hopefully be able to find out the sex! Oh my, I am so anxious to find out! I'm pretty sure I have been feeling the baby kick now, I think I have been feeling it for a little while but wasn't exactly sure what it was. And, actually I think we felt it on the outside of my belly yesterday. We were watching the Steelers game and throughout the whole second half I could put my hand on my stomach and feel movements (and the steelers won)... and this went on (not constantly, just every once in a while) until I went to sleep last night. I thought I wouldn't be able to feel anything on the outside for a long time, but I was reading online (where all intelligent people get their reliable information, lol) & apparently that is not the case (especially since I'm thinner). So, I am pretty sure thats what it was- Michael got to feel it once too, but he is unconvinced.

(I think I use parentheses too much)

Since I have my appointment tomorrow & weigh the same as I did at my last appointment (4 weeks ago)... I'm really going to have to pack on the pounds today & tomorrow, I don't know why I am having such a hard time gaining weight, now that I need to and am trying to! Thanksgiving night I was up all night throwing up, basically once an hour, & then the next day (which was my birthday) I couldn't eat anything or get off the couch. But then the next day I was back to normal. It was very strange, maybe it was some 24 hour flu thing. And I refuse to get a flu shot this year- my midwife suggested I get one and I asked her if it had thimerosal/mercury in it and she didn't think they made them with that anymore, but she checked and sure enough it did, but she was very understand of why I wouldn't want it. But I'm supposed to get a rhogam shot again here pretty soon (bec. apparently michael and I are the 13% of the population he has positive & I have negative RH), so I need to do some more research on that.

Today is my dad's 59th birthday! And he still has 2 teenage girls at home... ahh, they'll keep him young lol. happy birthday daddy!

A Model Marriage

2008-11-22T16:58:00.001-06:00

"Sometimes we have seen a model marriage, founded on pure love, and cemented in mutual esteem. Therein, the husband acts as a tender head; and the wife, as a true spouse, realizes the model marriage-relation, and sets forth what our oneness with the Lord ought to be. She delights in her husband, in his person, his character, his affection; to her, he is not only the chief and foremost of mankind, but in her eyes he is all-in-all; her heart's love belongs to him, and to him only. She finds sweetest content and solace in his company, his fellowship, his fondness; he is her little world, her Paradise, her choice treasure. At any time, she would gladly lay aside her own pleasure to find it doubled in gratifying him. She is glad to sink her individuality in his. She seeks no renown for herself; his honour is reflected upon her, and she rejoices in it. She would defend his name with her dying breath; safe enough is he where she can speak for him. The domestic circle is her kingdom; that she may there create happiness and comfort, is her life-work; and his smiling gratitude is all the reward she seeks. Even in her dress, she thinks of him; without constraint she consults his taste, and considers nothing beautiful which is distasteful to him. A tear from his eye, because of any unkindness on her part, would grievously torment her. She asks not how her behaviour may please a stranger, or how another's judgment may approve her conduct; let her beloved be content, and she is glad. He has many objects in life, some of which she does not quite understand ; but she believes in them all, and anything that she can do to promote them, she delights to perform. He lavishes love on her, and, in, return, she lavishes love on him. Their object in life is common. There are points where their affections so intimately unite that none could tell which is first and which is second. To watch their children growing up in health and strength, to see them holding posts of usefulness and honour, is their mutual concern; in this and other matters, they are fully one. Their wishes blend, their hearts are indivisible. By degrees, they come to think very much the same thoughts. Intimate association creates conformity; I have known this to become so complete that, at the same moment, the same utterance has leaped to both their lips.

Happy woman and happy man! If Heaven be found on earth, they have it! At last, the two are so blended, so engrafted on one stem, that their old age presents a lovely attachment, a common sympathy, by which its infirmities are greatly alleviated, and its burdens are transformed into fresh bonds of love. So happy a union of will, sentiment, thought, and heart exists between them, that the two streams of their life have washed away the dividing bank, and run on as one broad current of united existence till their common joy falls into the ocean of eternal felicity. — C. H. S. "

From The Autobiography of Charles H. Spurgeon

15.5 weeks

2008-11-17T10:07:00.004-06:00

This is 15 weeks & 5 days I think... yay for a little bump & still being able to wear normal clothes! Tomorrow is 16 weeks!

Boring Blog

2008-11-16T20:24:00.003-06:00

So, when I made this thing, my intention was to put pictures up and make it exciting... but I haven't put any up and its really unexciting. Maybe that will change now... especially since I'm starting to show!! Yeah! 16 weeks! We find out the sex on the Dec. 9th. So, I took a good picture of my tummy today, I need to put it up... later :)

Feminism vs. Feminity

2008-11-09T20:04:00.004-06:00

The Second Sex, 1949 by Simone de Beauvoir “A parasite sucking out the living strength of another organism...the housewife's labor does not even tend toward the creation of anything durable.... Woman's work within the home is not directly useful to society, produces nothing. The housewife is subordinate, secondary, and parasitic. It is for their common welfare that the situation must be altered by prohibiting marriage as a 'career' for woman.”

Isaiah 3:11-13 Woe unto the wicked! it shall be ill with him: for the reward of his hands shall be given him. As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. The LORD standeth up to plead, and standeth to judge the people.

“[The] housewife is a nobody, and [housework] is a dead-end job. It may actually have a deteriorating effect on her mind...rendering her incapable of prolonged concentration on any single task. [She] comes to seem dumb as well as dull. [B]eing a housewife makes women sick.” — Sociologist Jessie Bernard in The Future of Marriage, 1982.

Proverbs 31:27 "She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat of the bread of idleness."

“[As long as the woman] is the primary caretaker of childhood, she is prevented from being a free human being.” — Kate Millett, Sexual Politics, 1969.

“[Housewives] are mindless and thing-hungry...not people. [Housework] is peculiarly suited to the capacities of feeble-minded girls. [It] arrests their development at an infantile level, short of personal identity with an inevitably weak core of self.... [Housewives] are in as much danger as the millions who walked to their own death in the concentration camps. [The] conditions which destroyed the human identity of so many prisoners were not the torture and brutality, but conditions similar to those which destroy the identity of the American housewife.” — Betty Frieden, The Feminine Mystique, 1963.

Proverbs 31:28 "Her children arise and call her blessed..."

“[Housewives] are dependent creatures who are still children...parasites.” — Gloria Steinham, “What It Would Be Like If Women Win,” Time, August 31, 1970.

Psalm 127: 3-5 Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.

“[A]s long as the family and the myth of the family and the myth of maternity and the maternal instinct are not destroyed, women will still be oppressed.... No woman should be authorized to stay at home and raise her children. Society should be totally different. Women should not have that choice, precisely because if there is such a choice, too many women will make that one. It is a way of forcing women in a certain direction.” — Simone de Beauvoir, “Sex, Society, and the Female Dilemma,” Saturday Review, June 14, 1975

Titus 2:4-5 "That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed."

[I]f even 10 percent of American women remain full-time homemakers, this will reinforce traditional views of what women ought to do and encourage other women to become full-time homemakers at least while their children are very young.... If women disproportionately take time off from their careers to have children, or if they work less hard than men at their careers while their children are young, this will put them at a competitive disadvantage vis-a-vis men, particularly men whose wives do all the homemaking and child care.... This means that no matter how any individual feminist might feel about child care and housework, the movement as a whole had reasons to discourage full-time homemaking.” — Jane J. Mansbridge, Why We Lost the ERA, 1986.

1 Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

Proverbs 12:15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes

2nd Trimester

2008-11-05T18:30:00.004-06:00

So, I'm 14 weeks pregnant now. Yea!!! I'm having trouble gaining weight and weigh about 2 lbs less than before I got pregnant and the scale doesn't budge. Its frustrating. And I'm not showing yet. I have my next prenatal appointment next week. And the next appointment after that, we will be able to find out the sex!!! I really like my midwife, but I wish she did homebirths. She only delivers at a hospital near our house, but she is very pro-natural birth & is the only place approved by military insurance (meaning we don't hardly have to pay anything)... all the midwives around here that do homebirths aren't covered by most insurance and cost a few thousand dollars.

Michael and I also found this really awesome church just a few miles off base. Its a family-integrated church, so they don't have sunday school or childrens church or youth groups. And they have a time during the service when the husbands lead their families in prayer & give them communion. Then after they have a meal every sunday. Everyone is super nice & friendly. I think all the families homeschool. Its so nice to be in fellowship with people of like-minds.

Pregnant!!!

2008-09-28T14:49:00.003-05:00

So- 2 people have commented on this. So cool!! How do people find this anyway?

Michael and I found out on September 1st that we are going to have a baby!!! So exciting! I'm 9 weeks this week. I can't even believe it! My first real appointment is on October 23.

I suspected I had low progesterone (because we use NFP & I'm aware of things) so I went to the doctor & she wouldn't test me!!! Which really made me mad because I have 5 symptoms that are all associated with having low prog. But she said even if I did- they can't do anything about it- which is NOT TRUE. So, I started using this natural progesterone cream & got pregnant the first month I used it! so haha Dr. lady... But now I ran out & had to buy a different kind from wal-mart ("menopause formula"- ha) that says do not use if pregnant but I'm afraid if I quit using it abruptly I will have a miscarriage. I can't imagine what affect more progesterone would have on a pregnancy... I think it would be good for it...?

Anyways- at 6 weeks I had to go to the army hospital because I was having some spotting & the clinic here on base sends everyone to the hospital because they can't handle anything! So Michael and I spent the ENTIRE day at the hospital- all they did was take blood & when I finally got to see a doctor he did an ultrasound, so that made it all worth it! We saw the heartbeat & got to keep a picture :). Everything was fine. I started feeling nauseous at 6 weeks & it got really bad this past week. And I had to go to the hospital again because the clinic here thought I might be dehydrated & I lost 3 lbs (I'm apparently underweight already) so they took more blood & 3 hours later I got a prescription for Zophran to help with the nausea. I feel SO much better and I can eat now & get off the couch! But, I have been watching seasons of Friends, because I still lay on the couch a lot because I get tired really easy. I'm on season 7 now.

Last weekend we went to Erin & Cameron's wedding- it was really beautiful!!! I got to be Erin's matron of honor. it was a lot of fun. It makes me want to have another wedding lol.

Jobs & babies

2008-08-13T14:38:00.007-05:00

I recently applied for a job.

The manager basically offered me the job on the spot (since I had experience with this exact type of job, not many applicants would). It was really tempting to make extra money for some things I wanted to do (ballet classes, violin lessons...). I was really excited about it at first... but the more I thought about it, the more I realized how grateful & blessed I am that I have been able to stay at home. And, if I took this job, meaning not only would I not be here for Michael to come home to on his lunch- I would want to do those extra things meaning I would be gone in the evenings too. As much as I want to- I know its not what God wants, I shouldn't take this for granted!

I withdrew my application.

I feel even more dedicated to my purpose of being a homemaker.

Babies
Michael and I have been trying to conceive for a few months now. I thought that trusting God with your fertility would mean you got pregnant immediately and had 20 kids (if only we were so lucky!). I get so discouraged because I want so badly to have a lot of children. Its really hard to trust God, and remember that he is in control in circumstances like these, especially thinking about the child I could be pregnant with right now, but I'm not. And everyone keeps tellings us we should "wait a few years". That makes me upset and sad. But this bread pudding warms my womb..

mmm bread pudding.

Keeper at Home

2008-05-12T16:52:00.001-05:00

I went to my sisters graduation this past weekend, I saw a lot of people I hadn’t seen in a while. They ask the inevitable questions… “So, what are you going to do in Colorado?” “Are you going to College?” etc. Since Michael and I don’t have children yet- everyone is expecting me to work or go to school. By people’s reactions to me “being a homemaker”, you’d think I had dropped out of high school or something! College isn’t for everyone! It’s not mandatory. It shouldn’t be a place for young adults, biding their time, figuring out what they want to do… Why go to college when you can learn things on your own? you’d think homeschoolers would understand this concept! Why get a degree if you aren’t going to use it? Does having a degree make a person more important or useful than one without? Not to mention it’s outrageously expensive. Correct me if I’m wrong, but college isn’t meant to:

“teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” .Titus 2:4-5

So, when/where do women learn to be those things? That ought to be someones job- otherwise the word of God is blasphemed, sounds serious to me!! (its supposed to be the older women, but where is this happening? I never see it). How am I to be a helper to my husband if I’m out all day working hard just like he is? How can I be a keeper at home if I never learned how? How can I be submissive & subject to my husband if for the past 4 years (at least, probably more than that if I had gone to a school and hadn’t been homeschooled) I’ve been told the opposite?Why is it ok for a woman to serve a random man in the workplace, but it’s unacceptable for a woman to serve her husband in the home?

Who created marriage? God. Who commanded women to be a helper suitable for their husband? God. How many people do you know that are fulfilling their BIBLICAL wife/husband roles? How many people do you know that are divorced?

Where in the bible are women laying bricks or being carpenters? Where is Rosie the Riveter bible style?

Education: the act or process of imparting or acquiring general knowledge, developing the powers of reasoning and judgment, and generally of preparing oneself or others intellectually for mature life.

Whatever, this is just a rant. I don’t understand Christian society... but then again I don’t understand why most Christians don’t homeschool. I'm not judging people for going to college/working- so people shouldn't look down on me for choosing not to (like I haven't thought this through).

I wish I had never worked outside the home or gone to college- just so I could say I hadn't. :)
Oh, to be counter-cultural.

2008-05-01T13:09:00.001-05:00

Nobody reads this, but its ok.. maybe someday someone will...

I think Michael should write on here

Air Force

2008-04-04T18:23:00.003-05:00

So, we are moving to Colorado Springs- SOOO excited! Air Force Academy. (thats the chapel in the picture)

We have been so blessed throughout our entire military experience thus far- Michael got the greatest job and now we get a great place to live and still close enough to both our families!! Too bad we have to wait until June to live together again.

I had another violin lesson today! I love my teacher she is the greatest! I only have 4 more songs left to learn in the Suzuki 1 book!!!